Maria in Vancouver
Ways to Pursue and Achieve Your Dreams
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My late maternal grandfather used to tell me that when I was 3 years old, I used to read his favourite daily newspaper, every morning, upside down. Much to his amusement, my “Lolo” (Tagalog for grandfather) said that my serious facial expression looked like I understood what I was reading! Ever since, I have developed a passion for writing and have always dreamed of writing for a newspaper or a lifestyle magazine! Writing for one of the top newspapers and lifestyle magazines has always been in my dream bucket list. However, for decades, my writing was confined only to my personal diary.
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Fast forward to the mid 2000’s, I took fate and destiny in my hands and made sure I put a check next to one of my dreams in my bucket list. After all, I am the sole owner of my destiny. I decide what I want to do with my life, my world and my environment. I am in full control to take charge of my life, my future, and to make something out of the tools I have at my disposal. Around 2016, I took an English writing course in one of Canada’s most prestigious universities, University of British Columbia which was quite an eye opening experience for me. While taking this writing course, I also read more books — anything from classic literature to modern day novels (although I’ve always been a voracious reader; I read everything including obituaries since my early teens).
However in 2016, I found that taking a writing course was such an arduous process as I had to juggle between being a single mom, my day job, and pursuing my dream. But alas, I finished the course with high grades and I even got to self-publish my young adult novel book via Amazon. Embarrassingly, I only sold 5 copies, which to be honest, were bought by my family members! Lol! But, that didn’t deter me from pursuing my passion.
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During the early start of the coronavirus pandemic in 2020, I pursued my dream by contacting the owner and publisher of Canada’s largest and biggest Filipino-Canadian news website and newspaper, the Philippine Canadian Inquirer and gave him a few samples of my work. With hardly any professional writing experience and much to my surprise, the publisher gave me the wonderful opportunity to fulfil one of my dreams — an incredible chance to write anything under the sun and one that I made sure I didn’t waste. I was given a platform to share my innermost thoughts, my true feelings, and my voice. And I took this blessing with such care knowing that if I am to share my voice, I must practise full responsibility at all times.
My dedication and perseverance paid off! From being a contributing writer, I was given my own lifestyle column, “Maria in Vancouver” wherein I get to share my life experiences with the readers from early 2020 until up to this day. I also realised, based on my experience with writing for a newspaper for over the last four years, you have to be able to genuinely express yourself and your thoughts and write from the heart while you continuously learn along the way.
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My dream of becoming a lifestyle columnist came true not because of pure luck or by fluke — I worked hard to achieve that dream; But, I also had other dreams that gratefully came to fruition as well. Back in 2018 when my only son turned 20, my son encouraged me to go out on dates so that I could stop being a helicopter single mom hovering over him. I took his suggestion into consideration and I started dating. But, I took it to another level. I told myself this: I’m not going to date an ordinary bloke. I want someone who will add positive energy to my life. I wanted a partner and my equal. I wanted to grow old with a man who I can also call my best friend. I wanted a man who can tame me and be stronger than me, if not, equally strong as me.
I didn’t just date anyone. I was extremely selective. I dated CEOs, visionaries, eligible bachelors, and accomplished professionals. I dated and didn’t settle for just any Chads or Brads. Admittedly, I made a few mistakes along the way because you can’t help but get blinded by a few who were good at pretending to be The One. But thankfully, I was experienced enough to see through their phoney facades. These few dating mistakes did not deter me from finding The One. I refused to give up. I refused to be defeated. I refused to be discouraged by a few dating mistakes.
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By late 2018, I was introduced to my future husband by a mutual friend of ours, an international actor/film producer/writer. Admittedly, I googled my future husband before I dated him. I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t married or a suspicious character. However, when I started dating him regularly, I was still baffled by the fact that people approached him and said hello or asked for selfies! I couldn’t understand why so many people seem to know him and I often asked him if he knew these people to which he replied, “no.” Curiously, I had to conduct further research on him. By doing so, I realised that I was dating one of Vancouver’s legends! I was dating Vancouver’s fitness guru, the Ron Zalko himself! To make a long story short, after three years of dating and living together, we made it official by tying the knot in 2022. Having found my ideal partner, having Ron in my life was indeed a dream come true. I dreamed about having someone like him in my life. And with the help of Fate and Universe, I made it happen by choosing The One I want to have in my life. I didn’t settle for anyone less — I was extremely specific on who I wanted in my life. Hence, another dream came true!
I also had a dream for my only son, William. I often felt guilty being a single parent to my only son so I prayed hard day and night for my son to have a good life. But I didn’t just rely on prayers, I made sure I raised him by instilling in him the importance of education, of hard work, and perseverance. I prayed that he would persevere and finish his studies. My dream for him was for him to find his passion and true calling. My dream for him was to find his peace, his happiness and for him to take care of his own wellbeing. My dream for him was for him to learn how to become independent and fully capable of taking care of himself and his life. When he turned 21, I made the tough decision to sit down with him and explained to him the importance of learning how to fend for himself, how to live independently, and how to achieve his own goals and dreams. I told him that the only way he can do these is if I allow him to learn how to be on his own.
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I’ve always known that my duty as a mother is to teach my child how to live his own life. At the age of 21, I left our nest (the condo where my son and I live in, for me to move in with Ron in his own place in 2019) and slowly, gradually, with tough love, I weaned my son off me. Sure enough, it didn’t take long for my son to learn to be on his own and learn to be independent. In 2022 at the age of 24, (and just a month before I married Ron), my son William graduated with Distinction (Cum Laude) from BCIT. Today, he has a successful job as a Software and Web Developer managing a multimillion dollar software for one of Canada’s leading companies. My son turned his dreams into reality by working hard for it himself. He achieved his dreams on his own!
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My friend, nothing is neither unattainable nor impossible in life (only death and taxes are guaranteed). I’d like to share American abolitionist and political activist Harriet Tubman’s precious words: “Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” Moreover, I’d like to share some of the tried and tested ways wherein I was able to pursue and achieve my dreams:
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Visualise your dreams. Just like what Harriet Tubman shared, everything starts with a dream and you must visualise yourself achieving these dreams. For starters, you must create a board (digital or physical) and in this board, place images that represent your dreams and goals in life. Get a picture of your dream home. Or a picture of your dream career. Your dream partner in life. Your passion in life. Place an image of who you want to be and of what you want in your life. Stare at this board everyday and tell yourself positively: “One day, I shall have all these. My dreams will manifest!”
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Set SMART goals. SMART means setting specific,measurable,achievable,relevant,and time-bound goals. You can start by having a clear vision of your dreams and goals in life. Ask yourself this: “What am I truly passionate about?”, “What drives me in life?”, “What will make me truly content and happy in life?” Then, learn to prioritise. Learn to know what should come first in your life in order for you to achieve your dreams. Next, be specific — “How can I achieve my goals?”, “What are the guidelines and steps that I should take?”, “Do I have the resources to make it happen?”, “What are the advantages and disadvantages?”, “Can I realistically do it?” Make your goals measurable by establishing key performance indicators such as: attaching dates, numbers, percentages, even dollars to your goals and learning in process if your goals are realistic and achievable or not. Make your goals totally achievable by motivating and pushing yourself in achieving your end goal. You alone will be your first and last cheerleader. Finally, make sure that you set a deadline. By doing so, you are driven to make your dream a reality because you set a targeted deadline.
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Stay focused. Stay in your lane. You can’t achieve anything in life if you don’t remain focused. You must concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand! One of the biggest secrets to achieving your dreams is the ability to focus on your end goal; your commitment to finishing what you started; your dedication to excellence; and your perseverance to see things through no matter the difficulties. Also, take your time. Don’t be in a rush and above all, never compete with others except yourself.
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Manage your time. I can’t stress enough how precious Time is. But don’t worry if you find yourself struggling with time management — you are not alone; fret not. Always create a To-Do list with timelines. Knowing on a daily basis where you’re at when it comes to achieving your goals is a must. It helps you plan your goals accordingly when you can turn your dreams into your realities. Remember, Time is always of the essence. Life is both short and borrowed — don’t waste it! Make every second count.
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Never ever give up! Always remember this: no matter how the going gets tough, you are always stronger and tougher than the going’s! You have the power and the capacity to see things through. For every challenge, there’s a solution. The road to achieving your dreams is not without obstacles — you must see it through; you must be persistent! And if the going gets really too much, don’t be afraid to seek help from your support system. Get help. Get a breather but don’t quit. Always know in your heart that your challenges help you develop inner fortitude. Challenges are given to you as an opportunity to grow and become learned. Challenges are there to test our characters and push us even closer to attaining our dreams.
I turned my dreams into my realities because I always knew what I wanted in my life; I was passionate about my dreams; and above all, I totally believed in myself. What are you waiting for? Now more than ever is a great day to turn your dreams into your realities! You got this!
A grateful creature with a passion for writing.
#MariainVancouver
