Hear her story: Nadine Lustre shares her struggles with depression

FILE: Kapamilya actress Nadine Lustre (Photo: Nadine Lustre/Facebook)

If a person is asked to describe Nadine Lustre, the first thing that might come to his or her mind is an image of a beautiful young actress with back-to-back projects, often running from one filming location to the other.

But who would have thought that behind her success and beautiful smile that goes straight to anyone’s heart, there was a Nadine who once fell apart.

As the universe marked the commemoration of the World Mental Health Day yesterday, October 10, with many people raising awareness about the issue via social media sites, Nadine also did not let the day pass by without sharing her personal experience of depression.

Through a video uploaded in her makeup line’s Facebook page, Lustrous, Nadine said she first discovered that she has depression four or five years ago.

“I get anxiety from nothing. Wala siyang (It does not have any) trigger at all which is hard because I don’t know how to solve it. Parang bigla na lang siyang darating (It will suddenly come to you),” the Chief Creative Designer of the brand said.

Recalling the feeling she had, Nadine shared that there are times that instead of talking to anyone at their house, she would rather choose to lock herself in her room and just be alone.

“I would have days na wala naman talaga akong (that I do not actually have) issues at all or problems or ‘yung mga (those) things na (that) I stress out, wala (nothing), it just happens,” she said.

“All of a sudden kunwari (for example) it’s a good day tapos biglang nakaupo lang ako (I was just sitting), [I’m] not even doing anything not even thinking about anything, but parang bigla na lang siyang… parang it (it suddenly) starts creeping up on me na bigla na lang mararamdaman ko na nagpa-panic attack na ako (that I suddenly begin to have a panic attack) and I get a lot of ‘what ifs’,” she continues.

It is easy for others to advise someone to just share straightaway their problems or what has been bothering them to their friends or family members; however, for someone who has depression, this suggestion is much easier said than done.

“When I realized na (that) I get all these things, I’m actually depressed, I realized that I was scared to tell my friends then,” Nadine confessed.

“Feeling ko there are times na iisipin ko na lang na ‘wala ‘yan, baka isipin nagda-drama’ lang ako (I feel that there are times that I would just think that ‘It’s nothing, maybe they will think that I was just being dramatic’),” she said.

“I think those were the reasons why people were scared to tell their friends or family about their feeling kasi baka isipin na ‘nababaliw ka na’ (maybe they will think that ‘You’re becoming insane’) stuff like that,” she added.

Nadine also recalled the day when she had a trip to Korea with her friends and that her depression during that time was “so bad” that she was even thinking of not coming back home again.

“I was thinking to myself ‘What if I just get lost and don’t go home anymore?’ Sobrang lunod na lunod na ako (I was totally drowning) and I can’t swim,” the actress said.

If a person would go to search on the internet the meaning of depression, it will appear that this is a medical illness that negatively affects how a person feels, thinks, and acts.

While this is Google’s definition of depression, Nadine believes that no one can really define what it is.

“It is what it is. I can’t even explain it all I know is how it feels,” she said.

As time goes by, Nadine stopped keeping her struggles to herself when she finally learned to open up to other people.

“My friends taught me how to open up, especially James. Sa kanya ako nage-explode, sa kanya ako nagagalit or sa kanya ako nagiging masungit (I explode to him, I get mad at him, or I get irritable to him),” she shared.

Nadine said James, her on and off-screen partner taught her to start talking more about herself and her feelings.

“It’s nice to know na (that) when you talk to other people, you feel like you’re holding hands and you’re all like ‘Kaya natin ‘to guys (We can do this)‘,” she said.

As someone who has experienced depression and was able to battle it, the 24-year-old celebrity has this well-meaning advice to those who are struggling with the same thing:

“If you are going through something, don’t try to hold for it for a really long time. Don’t try to be strong for a long time because it’s actually okay to be sad, it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to show weakness. But at the end of the day, the end of every challenge, at the end of every obstacle, you’re gonna be able to stand up and be a stronger person,” she noted.

Nadine is not only known for her exceptional acting prowess, but also for her advocacies such as mental health awareness, self-love, and women empowerment.