How to be Single

Flying solo does not mean it equates to misery and loneliness. (Unsplash photo)

Being a singleton is no longer a lack of options — but rather, by choice. I am a single working mother of one. While raising my only son, I did not date for more than 17 years. It was a challenge at first — but with time — I grew into the role comfortably. I learned a lot about myself. I learned about my strengths and weaknesses. I learned that I could do what I want when I want to, and I didn’t need to ask for anyone’s permission. In every sense of the word, I had total freedom.

Gone are the days when you felt like a Singleton meant being in modern-day purgatory until you have matched with your other half. Being a Singleton doesn’t mean you’re unhappy, a miserable cat hoarder, and weird peri-menopausal hag. Flying solo does not mean it equates to misery and loneliness. You know, you are not alone. Studies show that there are more Singletons than ever before.

Over 17 years of being a confirmed Singleton, I learned and experienced:

• You can conquer the whole bed anytime of the week. For 17 years, I had my whole King size bed all to myself. I can describe this entitlement as pure heaven. Pure bliss. No fighting over the duvet. No sleepless night over snoring issues.
• You can be yourself at any given time. You don’t have to please anyone. You do you. You can be simply you.
• There are plenty of health benefits for Singletons. Studies have shown that singletons tend to be healthier and fitter. They tend to go to the gym more frequently, eat a healthier diet, and have lower stress levels. Singletons enjoy better quality of sleep than those who share a bed with a partner.
• Give yourself treats! Don’t be afraid to reserve a table for one in restaurants and cafes. Dress for yourself. Impress yourself. Buy new shoes. Get your hair done every week. Pamper yourself with massage and a trip to the Spa.
• Focused on being your best version. Being alone can be a good time to improve and enhance yourself. Focus on your daily needs. Take an online course. Cultivate your interests. Be creative. Take up a new hobby.
• Appreciate your independence. The achievement of financial, emotional, social, career and personal independence gives you a sense of accomplishment that eventually changes how you rate yourself and how others view you. Celebrate the fact that you can stand on your own two feet.
• Learn to fall in love with yourself first.Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Make it a great relationship. You need to embrace, accept, and love yourself first before you could love, accept, and embrace others. Be kind to yourself. Develop self-compassion.
• Enjoy and savour your alone time. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Enjoy the quiet life. Savour your alone time. Make your place your heavenly sanctuary. It’s your chance to dance around in your undies to your choice of music. Enjoy your favourite movie without having to share your popcorn! Your “me” time is the right time to discover your true self.
• Travel the world on your own.You don’t need to be with someone to enjoy the gondola ride in Venice. You can be on your own climbing the steps of Eiffel Tower. You can enjoy food and sangrias on your own during La Tomatina in Spain. Enjoy the West End plays and musicals in London by yourself. It’s really not that bad. On the contrary, it can be liberating.
• Be your number one cheerleader!Encourage yourself. Always be positive. Always see the glass as half full of tequila or champagne! Give yourself a pat in the back for doing a great job.
• Life is more adventurous when you’re on your own. Enough said.
• Surround yourself with the right people. Focus on relationships with those who are positive and supportive. Those you spend the most time with have a huge influence on your moods, how you view the world and the expectations you have of yourself. When you surround yourself with positive people, you’re more likely to adopt empowering beliefs and see life as happening for you instead of to you.

Remember this, Singletons: If we cannot be happy when we are single, it is wrong to ask someone else to come into our lives to make us happy. I fell in love with myself when I was single. I was happy and content being on my own. For 17 years, I chose to be on my own than be in a negative relationship. I took my time before embarking on a new relationship. Now, someone amazing and great came into my life and I can love and accept him because I learned to love and accept myself when I was single. There is a happily ever — after all!