Valentine’s Day Part II: Filipinos and White Day

A month after Valentine’s Day, March 14 is White Day and is the chance for the men to reply to the brave souls who poured all their heart out on their romantic chocolates. (Shutterstock)

Valentine’s season may be over when the following month marched this 2019, but the season of chocolates and love may not exactly be over. Well at least for other countries, through White Day!

Nope, this is not a day solely dedicated to honor the color white or something like that, but it is directly related to Valentine’s Day, that originated in Japan and is practiced in its neighboring countries such as China, Taiwan, South Korea, and Vietnam.

Now, for other nations, especially the Philippines, some are still into the thought that ‘men should make the first move.’ While there are those who choose to deviate from the old ways, some still remain to stay true to their parents’ “when I was your age” stories. But for Japan, perhaps their version is that it is normal for the women to confess to their crushes first.

It is a classic in Japanese animation and movies aimed more at the youth, to include scenes set at the back of the old school building or even behind the gym as typical “confession hotspots.” And that’s right, this is when you hear, “Senpai, suki (Senpai, I like you)” plus the blushing of characters who just completed their confession, listed on their bucket list.

On February though, things get more symbolic for Japanese girls on their preparations for Valentine’s Day when two types of chocolates come in the scenario – the giri-choco and the honmei-choco.

Now, both are chocolates but what exactly is the significance and difference? The giri-choco (obligatory chocolate) is a courtesy chocolate often prepared on a lower budget and is usually given by girls to guys they share a casual and/or non-romantic relationship with. This includes male colleagues and acquaintances.

Honmei-choco (chocolate of love), on the other hand, is for the guys that these girls wish to express their romantic feelings for. And yes, unlike giri-choco, the effort and money for honmei-choco are expected to be bigger and better.

Rather than beating around the bush, girls get to be more straight-forward on Valentine’s Day. But what makes this more interesting is that they actually have a day dedicated to getting a response from their crushes.

A month after Valentine’s Day, March 14 is White Day and is the chance for the men to reply to the brave souls who poured all their heart out on their romantic chocolates.

Of course, crossing out all the romantic air, men who received even giri-choco are still expected to respond to those who gave them chocolates a month ago by giving gifts on White Day as well.

Whether it is an obligatory or a romantic kind of chocolate, men should still return the gesture by presenting a white gift to the ladies.

Now with March 14 just peeking at the calendar, for our kababayans out there or those who have ventured the land of the rising sun, is White Day a thing?

To answer this question, Philippine Canadian Inquirer (PCI) heard different sides and stories.

Just a memory

For a Japanese man who decided to make the Philippines as his new home, White Day could just be a memory.

Refusing to be named, a 68-year-old Japanese man shared that he, of course, used to celebrate White Day when he was still in Japan, but observed that perhaps the number of people who celebrated it declined in the office setting, especially with the older age bracket.

The mister could only look back now though, since staying in the Philippines (where the Valentine’s celebration is touched and influenced by the Western culture), the White Day tradition is now long gone for his part.

“When I was [still] in Japan, I had done it,” he started saying, explaining how different Valentine’s Day is in his country, plus the existence of its answer day.

White Day may just be a part of his life in Japan, but he still makes sure to not let the sweetness get away even if he is now in a different country.

“But now, I give small chocolates to my wife on Valentine’s Day, and on White Day, I do nothing,” he continued.

His loving wife, a 58-year-old Filipina, also looked back to her March 14 experiences, saying that she found the custom fun to follow when she was still in Japan in the 80s and 90s. Just like with how girls had to classify their chocolates to obligatory and romantic, on White Day, the men also had to classify their white gifts to the two.

For her, what made the celebration more fun is that she also gained more friends because of the event after receiving gifts on White Day; as if confirming her friendship and relationship with some of the males there.

“Nakakainis lang din dahil magastos (It can be a bit annoying because of the expenses though),” she jokingly chipped in.

A different taste

White Day may be heavily influenced by the gesture of giving but for Beng, a Filipina who works in Japan, White Day is more about spending time with her beau through dates or drinking.

Despite not having Japanese roots like her boyfriend, the celebration of love in both Valentine’s Day and its response day is very much alive for her.

“Alam mo ang mga Pinay or Pinoy, ‘di pahuhuli sa romantic moments (You know, Filipinas or Filipinos will not back down when it comes to romance),” she beamed.

She also said that though it is mainly a response day to V-day, she still considers White Day as like any other day to celebrate; that is why Filipino-style: she cooks and also celebrates the day with her daughter through good food on the table.

Expectations vs reality

Though White Day seems to be like a part two of Valentine’s Day, there are some misconceptions that have to be cleared out in this thick air of pink (or white).

Regine Barabat at 22 who has been staying in Japan for five months as a student/caregiver, shared how ‘exclusive’ the event could be.

“Kung sino lang ‘yung nagbigay sa lalaki ng chocolates, ‘yun lang din ang bibigyan pabalik ng lalaki. ‘Di niya pwedeng bigyan ‘yung ‘di nagbigay sa kanya nung Valentine’s Day kasi ang White Day is giving back sa mga girls na nagbigay sa kanila nung Valentine’s Day. (Whoever were the women who gave chocolates to men, they are the only ones who should receive gifts from the guys. Men cannot give back to those who did not give them presents back in Valentine’s Day because White Day is giving back to these girls who prepared something on that day),” she explained.

She also added that though men received chocolates, they are not really limited to giving out chocolates as a ‘response’ because on White Day, they are also allowed to hand out other gifts like cosmetics.

Contrary to the previous observation that the celebration may have declined especially in the more adult sector, according to Regine, it is really lively.

She shared that even before White Day (which is around the season of Valentine’s at least), stores already have displays of possible return gifts such hand creams, lotions, lipsticks, and many more – that the products are almost sold out already.

Regine, herself, is waiting for her return gifts this year.

She jested, “At syempre nag-e-expect akong may babalik sa White Day, namuhunan ako eh (And of course, I do expect that I will receive something on White Day, since I invested).”

This will be the young lady’s first-ever celebration so she is really, really excited.

For 25-year-old Janus Troy Bonete though, this year will be his third celebration and the sparks of joy will still be ringing in him.

Since he has been a fan of the Japanese culture even before his three-year stay in Japan, White Day for him used to be something that was studied and merely understood by words and media. But being able to experience it, he realized that “sobra pala siyang masaya (it was actually really fun).”

When it comes to events like this, people take it differently, and no matter how joyous an event could be, some may still find it real challenging to squeeze in to their busy schedules. However, Janus believes otherwise.

“Para sa’kin ‘di siya hassle, kasi nag-effort ‘yung mga babae o mga ka-work ko na magbigay sa amin so dun pa lang sa thought na nag-effort sila, gaganahan ka na mag-prepare para sa mga ibibigay mo (For me, it is not a hassle to prepare because women or my co-workers exerted effort in giving us so just in that thought that there was effort, you will really feel excited to prepare to give something in return),” Janus shared.

White Day is not celebrated in the Philippines and will probably remain to be just another culture to look at, but for Filipinos (and Filipinos at heart) who have experienced it, it remains to be something memorable.