Ageing Gratefully and Joyfully

My 56th trip around the sun is just around the corner! Whew. Wow. Admittedly, I used to be afraid of getting older. However, when you’ve lost a lot of people along the way — you realise that life and growing old are precious. You realise that each day with your loved ones is a blessing and a beautiful gift. Instead of fighting the inevitable (growing older), you realise that you really have no choice but to embrace getting older wholeheartedly, gratefully and joyfully. Do not regret getting older — it is a privilege denied to many. 

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Growing older is not about how many trips around the sun you’ve made. Ageing isn’t about numbers. It is all about growing up and achieving the many benefits of growth as an individual. Think of growing older as a new stage of acquiring more strength and new opportunities. Embrace growing older for all the new adventures and wisdom it brings! To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”

Here are the different ways that helped me get rid of my FOGO (fear of growing old) and instead decided to embrace ageing gratefully and joyfully!

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Don’t let ageing dictate what you can and cannot do. Don’t let age define you. Only you can define you. It is true that with growing older comes aching bones, joints, and muscles but you can learn to accept these and work around it by living with it! Start by including physical activity in your daily routine. Go for a leisure hike with your friends and loved ones. Workout in a gym. Load up with calcium. Get adequate amounts of Vitamin D. Take up a new sport and hobby. I have friends older than me that go skydiving and riding their motorcycles! You can still live your best life even as you get older! 

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Live authentically by practising self-acceptance. Living truthfully and authentically starts with self-acceptance. Try to be more in touch with yourself by doing a lot more self reflection. Know your wants and desires. Above all, know your real self. Acknowledge your feelings, emotions, desires, and needs by taking steps to fulfil them. To live authentically, you must be focused on the present moment and expressing your honest feelings and thoughts. Be transparent with your everyday dealings in life. Always tell the truth — everything from owning your fallibility to admitting your mistakes. In addition to always telling the truth, be powerfully self-expressed. By doing so, you are strengthening the cornerstone to sharing your essence.

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Be comfortable with your own skin. Start by separating your self-worth from your physical appearance. Looks definitely fade away through the years. Accept it wholeheartedly. Think of your body as a vessel to help you share your unique traits to others. Your body is an instrument for you to use positively and it is not just an ornament to be admired. It is truly a gift and a privilege to be able to see the many different changes your face and body go through the years. These changes signify a life well truly lived. As I reach the wonderful age of 56, I see no desire to mask my face with Botox, fillers or even a facelift! I’d rather cherish the little wrinkles around my eyes, my laughter lines and  my sagging cheekbones because these remind me of how much I laughed, cried, fought and survived through the years. I will not let anyone erase these testaments of a beautiful life well lived. In fact, last year, when I turned 55, I got rid of my breast implants as I’ve decided to grow older more naturally. I felt liberated by doing so. 

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View ageing with an attitude of gratitude. Studies have shown that being grateful in life can be a positive and powerful tool for seniors or older people in dealing with loneliness and depression. By shifting our focus to being thankful for everything in our lives, we are promoting a more positive outlook in life and fostering higher levels of happiness and contentment. Start by practising saying thank you for the gift of life as soon as you wake up! Create a daily journal of what you’re thankful for daily. Write about your positive experiences daily and say thank you for each positive experience. Also try incorporating meditation by thinking and focusing only on the good things. Be consistent with your attitude of gratitude. When you’re grateful on a daily basis, it becomes a habit. Having an attitude of gratitude greatly influences your outlook on life. 

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Be mindful about growing older rather than getting older. There’s a huge difference between growing older and getting older. Growing older means having a wide range of life experiences and living through various changes — both mentally and physically — in life. Whereas, getting older implies the individual is experiencing the negative effects of ageing physically and mentally. Of course, the healthy choice is to choose to grow older. By choosing to grow older, we are gaining a much better understanding of the world and environment we live in. We have a better understanding of our relationships with others. Growing older means letting go of trivial details that consume our lives and identities and changing how we want to be seen and perceived. There is a valid reason why it’s called the golden years after all — because you are actually gaining wisdom and living a fulfilled life. 

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Healthy ageing means coping with various life changes. As we grow older, it is vital that we find ways on how to deal and cope with the many changes in our lives. We must build our resilience continuously. By being resilient, it will help us make the most of all the good times and keep our perspectives intact when times are tough. We build our resilience by accepting the hard truth: many changes that happen in our lives are actually beyond our control. Rather than stress ourselves out, we must accept graciously that there are things beyond our grasp and control that we can’t change or do anything about. We must learn to choose our battles. We can focus more on how we choose to react to adversities and challenges. Take daily actions to deal with life’s challenges one small step at a time. 

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Always look for the silver lining. When we’re faced with major challenges, try to see and face these challenges as opportunities for personal growth and development. If your own poor judgement or choices were the culprit for these stressful situations, try to see it as a lesson learned. Just learn from your mistakes and move forward. Remember that there’s always hope or something good to be found in every bad situation. 

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Cultivate happiness in life. Never lose your sense of humour! It is a fact that laughter is indeed the best medicine. Stay healthy through humour, laughter, and play. Cultivate happiness by finding joy and meaning in everything in life. If you’re suddenly an empty nester or facing retirement, find a new meaning in life by trying a new hobby. Go travelling with friends. Learn something new. Get involved in your community. Do some volunteer work. Or you can choose to keep working! Who says you should retire anyway? An active mind and body keeps you rejuvenated and healthy! Enjoy the arts. Learn a new food recipe. Spend time communing with nature. Pamper yourself with a treat at a Spa or hair salon. Write your memoirs and self-published. Anything is possible. The choices to cultivate happiness are endless. 

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Choose to be your better older version. Choose to transform yourself into your older and better version by unlocking your potential self. Try focusing on prioritising what truly matters to yourself and not what matters to others. Stop living your life by meeting someone else’s expectations of you. Instead, tell yourself, I’m good enough, I’m more than enough. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Breathe and deal with stress at your own pace. Celebrate small victories for the little things matter. Reward yourself for every accomplishment you achieve. Get out of your comfort zone by embracing failure. Don’t be afraid to fail. It’s a stepping stone for success. Know your core values and live by them because your personal values define how you view the world and others in your environment. Practice self-compassion. Take a moment to value and appreciate what your mind and body can do for you.

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Treat your mind and body with love and respect. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, treat your mind and body with love and respect. Eat healthily. Exercise daily. Avoid surrounding yourself with toxic bullies and negative people. You only have one life to live so live the best life you can have! Focus on the things you want in your life. Live in the present moment. Practice mindfulness. Declutter your life by getting rid of distractions and people who don’t bring you joy. Always strive to get a good rest and sleep. Learn to go with the flow and don’t be afraid to hit the reset button in your life. The key to living your best life aside from treating your mind and body with love and respect is to avoid comparing yourself to others. 

I shall end this article with some pearls of wisdom from John Lennon, “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”