Lifestyle
#Couple Goals
Our world right now is rocked by a pandemic and so much divisiveness, but in the end, LOVE will always triumph over hate. Indeed, to quote the song sung by Jackie Deshannon and written by Hal David and Burt Bacharach, “what the world needs now is love, sweet love” and the world certainly needs lots of it! Love always unites us than separates us. Love is the strongest power there is.
Who doesn’t love a good old fashioned love story? I watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s every time I feel down. Just watching the chemistry between Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak is more than enough to make me believe in the power of love all over again. Reading about The Bard’s classic Romeo and Juliet reminds me of human longing. Whenever I read Pride and Prejudice, I always imagine life with my own Mr. Darcy! Whenever I watch Sex and The City, I dream about Carrie’s shoes and yes, Mr. Big.
During times of uncertainty, nothing can uplift our spirits than reading about inspirational love stories from real life couples. We crave for a real love story — one that fills our hearts with spark, happiness, dreams, hope, faith, and despair of human attraction. We need to read about real love stories, which reminds us that LOVE knows no barriers, bounds, age, and generation.
For our Valentine’s special feature, let’s fall in love and be inspired by true to life love stories of four couples: a May-December couple, an interracial couple, a best-friends couple, and a same gender couple (on a personal note, this author could totally relate with both the May-December love story and the interracial love story). These couples remind us that our relationships shouldn’t be like rain — which comes and goes; our relationships should be more like air — it never goes away and it’s always around us. Further, these four couples will remind us that all relationships go through hell but real relationships get through it and survive it.
Assunta de Rossi Ledesma and Julio A. Ledesma IV — May-December Couple. Assunta de Rossi at 19 was the Grace Kelly of the Philippines. She was at the height of stardom when she married former congressman and scion of a prominent clan, Julio A. Ledesma IV, or Jules to his friends. Their union was a controversial one — Assunta’s entire family was against the relationship citing the 22-year age gap as the main reason for their concern. Not to mention, it was a whirlwind romance; Assunta was an unattached teen Tinseltown royalty while Jules was a 41-year-old widower, an elected official with two young children from his late wife. Assunta was only eight years older than Jules’ eldest daughter and 13 years older than Jules’ younger son.
They met in San Francisco, U.S. in November 2001, became a couple in January 2002, and got married in an intimate civil rites in December 2002 in Jules’ hometown, San Carlos. Unfortunately, neither Assunta’s family nor Jules’ mother, Conchita “Connie” Arenas Vda. de Ledesma were present at the wedding. Jules’ mother was in Canada for her annual medical checkup at that time; some of Jules’ relatives are based in Vancouver.
Alas, just like the classic love story, Romeo and Juliet, true love is indeed impossible to control.
After two years, Assunta and Jules renewed their vows at the Sanctuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park, Makati, on March 14, 2004. It was the wedding of the year! This time, Assunta’s family had already accepted their marriage and the wedding was attended by the Who’s Who of the Philippines’ high society. The bride wore a Vera Wang gown and a necklace with 400 diamonds with matching earrings, a thoughtful gift from Jules.
Their union continues to withstand the test of time. As a couple, they continue to experience the ebbs and flows of life; they continue to journey through the mountains and valleys of life. Assunta had become the best stepmom to Jules’ children and continues to do so. At the same time, Assunta had struggled for years to become a mother herself because of her existing medical conditions. Jules and Assunta tried other ways of conceiving — even vitro fertilization (IVF) in 2016, but without success.
They may be extremely wealthy, but the couple is also extremely charitable. It was common knowledge that Jules gave away P2 billion of his wealth to the poor and impoverished throughout the years. According to a report published by Emirates 24/7 in 2013, the couple gave 60 percent of their wealth to the workers in their sugar plantation. Assunta said in an interview in 2013, “Believe me, it’s going to work. We pray that it’s going to work so that all the other landowners will follow.”
What I admire most about this power couple is their combined passion to make the world a better place for everyone. It is true that when you do good to others, goodness comes back to you a thousandfold. On October 24, 2020, Assunta became a mother for the first time!
It wasn’t an easy pregnancy considering it was at the height of the pandemic. But Assunta was blessed with a loving and supportive husband who is by her side 24/7. They are now blessed with “miracle baby”, Giulia Fiorentina Alessandra Schiavone Ledesma or Baby Fiore.
Both Jules and Assunta are extremely grounded. The more successful they become, the humbler they are. While Assunta has always been mature beyond her years and responsible, Jules, on the other hand, has always been a good provider and the protector of his family. Just as Assunta is talented as an actress, Jules is a gifted poet and loves Haiku and this author knows for a fact how great a friend Jules could be to his friends; he will always have your back. Let’s find some valuable tips from Assunta and Jules on how to rock a May-December love affair.
Was it love at first sight? What was it about him/her that caught your attention?
Assunta: “When I met Jules, he was courting someone else. When the courtship didn’t flourish, he started contacting me. It was definitely not love at first sight. In fact, I didn’t even like him and was seeing someone else. I told him that friendship was all I could offer, and he accepted. What really caught my attention was how consistent he was. He was always there for me. As I got to know him better, I was amazed at how brilliant and thoughtful he was.”
Jules: “It wasn’t love at first sight, actually. I was courting her castmate (another actress) in a local TV show that Assunta was in — this show is our local version of SNL. I was caught off guard by Assunta’s grace and composure; Assunta is the type who gets more beautiful as you spend more time with her.”
If you had one word to describe your relationship what would it be?
Assunta: “Intense. We’re both passionate people, so we love really hard.”
Jules: “Constancy. Just being there for each other and staying grounded together. It helps to have a wife and a partner on the same page as you are.”
How long has your relationship been and what keeps you both together?
Assunta: “We’re going on our 19th year this 2021. I think what keeps us together is our commitment to keep the family intact. We both came from solid family backgrounds, so we do take inspiration from our own parents, whose marriages have stood the test of time.”
Jules: “19 years and counting! Assunta and I were married thrice. The first ceremony was a secret civil wedding on Aug. 1, 2002. The second wedding was on Dec. 14, 2002 — it was also a civil but this time, non-voidable with both State Department verified documents. There was no need for a Prenup as we both believe that in our marriage, failure is not an option. Our third wedding was on March 14, 2004. It was at the Sanctuario de San Antonio in Forbes Park, Makati. It was officiated by the Bishop of San Carlos and my cousin, Bishop Tony Ledesma of Ipil. What really keeps us together is that we’re both consistent with each other, we’re both grounded and we’re always there for each other.”
What’s your most cherished memory together?
Assunta: “For me, there are three most cherished memories together. A.) Our wedding day. B.) Our honeymoon because we were really by ourselves. C.) Of course, the birth of our daughter last year after waiting for so long. She’s our answered prayer.”
Jules: “The times we spent together in Amanpulo. Actually, every moment with Assunta is the most cherished moment.”
There are five love languages: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Which one is your love language?
Assunta: “Mine would be physical touch and words of affirmation. My husband loves that I’m very affectionate and no matter what, I always express my love for him. I also let him know how proud I am of him. Compliments go a long way, and after all these years, I still want him to feel secure.”
Jules: “I have to say that all five love languages are my love languages. Perhaps, quality time with each other is on the top of the charts for me.”
Where is your favorite place to be with him/her?
Assunta: “We’re both homebodies, but if we were to pick a place, it would be Amanpulo. A non-place would be in a car, as we’re both enthusiasts. We like to bond and chat while we’re on the road.”
Jules: “Allow me to answer this question with Haiku: August’s moon glowing, Monsoons billowing sky’s cape — as always surreal. Amanpulo never ceases to be unforgettable.”
What makes you really happy in your relationship?
Assunta: “We still make each other laugh. A good sense of humor is essential in a relationship.”
Jules: “What makes me happiest is the fact that my wife is a great mother to my two children from my previous marriage. Of course, now that we have our very own miracle baby, motherhood really becomes her.”
Socorro “Babes” Castro-Newland and Robert “Bob” Newland — Interracial Couple. When Bob met Babes, it was like meeting the peanut butter to his jelly. It was a sudden meeting of two heads but with one heart. Babes was wearing the smile that Bob gave him. It didn’t matter that one was Caucasian and the other was Asian. What mattered at that moment was they were both ready to start writing their favourite fairy tale — their own love story. It was an instant testament that opposites really do attract!
Socorro “Babes” Castro Newland is one of Vancouver’s shakers and movers in the Filipino community. Babes or otherwise known as Ms. B is a product of University of Sto. Tomas, having a degree in Bachelor of Arts in Communication Arts. Prior to uprooting her roots to Vancouver, Babes worked as local-hire Trade Attachée (Commercial Officer) for the embassies of Finland, Sweden, and the Provincial Government of Quebec in the Philippines for 20+ years combined.
During evenings and weekdays, Babes dabbles in fun and creative activities that she’s most passionate about — mentoring and managing popular band performers in the Philippines via remote. She also volunteers in the Filipino community by organizing successful events and fundraising. She used to be a radio host for Juan Pinoy Radio in Vancouver and is also a columnist for Philippine Canadian Inquirer. She is a mother to two lovely and successful young women and a doting grandma to one. She currently works as a Manager for a popular signature luxury brands store for women, Kate Spade in a West Vancouver location.
Robert “Bob” Newland is a Canadian Engineer born and raised in Saskatchewan. He’s been the President of Sincor Engineering Inc. since 2006. Under SNC Lavalin, Bob was responsible for building the Canada Line Rapid Transit Line in Vancouver, and it is amongst many of his notable projects in Vancouver and around the world. Nowadays, Bob is a happily retired grandfather to one. He loves playing golf and walking with Babes and their loyal companion, Oscar the pooch. He is a dedicated father to four grown up children.
Having an interracial relationship is never a walk in the park though. It comes with a lot of challenges. Having an interracial relationship means involving two different value and cultural systems, which can cause conflict in a relationship. Babes and Bob are both well-traveled and they’ve been exposed to different cultures. This made it easier for both of them to adjust, adapt, and more importantly, accept each other’s differences.
This author is extremely blessed to count Babes and Bob as my close friends and I always look up to their relationship as my personal guide to couple goals. Let us get some valuable tips from this lovely couple on how to make interracial relationships work!
Was it love at first sight? What was it about him/her that caught your attention?
Babes: “It may sound cheesy, but yes. It was love at first sight for both of us. Meeting him for the first time as blind date at a close friend’s birthday party who played cupid, felt as if we’d known each other forever. It was surreal. But true. And if there’s one thing that I could say that has caught my attention about him was his being so down-to-earth. I loved that he never tried to impress me. Although he totally got me with his charisma, wit and being successful at what he does as an engineer building rail transit systems around the world. And, oh, yes, we had our first dance that same night. And to my utter surprise, not only the man is a swagger, but he’s also got competitive ballroom dancing moves! What a bonus! That effectively sealed the deal for me.”
Bob: “Pretty much. I had been divorced 12 years earlier, so I was pre-conditioned for romance and companionship at that time. Our first meeting occurred on a blind date arranged by our mutual friends following a decade of work with them on engineering projects in California. Prior to our introduction at the birthday celebration party, it was not difficult to spot Babes across the room serenely visible like an Aztec queen, confident and collected. The attraction was immediate and has remained so to this day.”
If you had one word to describe your relationship what would it be?
Babes: “Complementary. Not only are we compatible, but we also enhance each other’s qualities to become better versions of ourselves.”
Bob: “Compatibility. She is adapting to her training program quite well, and I humbly acknowledge her kind influence on myself.”
How long has your relationship been and what keeps you both together?
Babes: “We first met in October 2001. We got married the following year at the Canyon Woods Golf and Country Club in Tagaytay, Philippines. We’d be celebrating 20 years together this year. We keep our communication lines open at all times. No matter how we disagree at times, we always manage not to become disagreeable. And we don’t go to bed angry. We wake up each morning with grateful hearts in God’s Grace.”
Bob: “We met in 2001, married in 2002, and have been together ever since. Our family commitment to Babes, and my two adopted daughters has been instrumental in maintaining our family unit.”
What’s your most cherished memory together?
Babes: “There are so many. But there’s one particular thing that stands out. It was during our first trip together to Oregon before we got married. Bob planned for a golfing weekend with his former engineer-friends. At the end of that trip, while heading out to the airport, out of the blue he told me, “You know what made me fall in love with you even more is your having two daughters whom I can eventually call my own. I have two grown up sons from my first marriage. Having two daughters will complete me as a father.” Shortly after we got married, he filed the papers for adoption of my then young teenage daughters— Tisha Katrina and Tosca Bianca. What a keeper!”
Bob: “Probably our extended vacation to Italy in 2016, following multiple family trips throughout Asia while residing in Manila, 2001 to 2006.”
There are five love languages: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Which one is your love language?
Babes: “It would be “quality time”. This love language for us encompasses the rest.”
Bob: “Physical touch.”
Where is your favorite place to be with him/her?
Babes: “We both did a lot of traveling together. I can’t actually think of just one favourite place to be with my husband. It may sound corny and trite, but wherever he is, that’s where I’d rather be. I always look forward to seeing him at the end of the day after work or during my days off. Even just staying home together doing nothing is such a bliss.”
Bob: “There’s no place like home.”
What makes you really happy in your relationship?
Babes: “When I decided to marry Bob, more than love, it’s because of our mutual respect, acceptance, patience and understanding for one another. Being happy and staying happy is a conscious choice I make everyday. How can I not be happy when I’m married to my soulmate, best friend, adoring #1 fan and lover!”
Bob: “Babes’ affinity to my elder sister Mary, and just experiencing the ebb and flow of life’s adventures with our children and grandchild.”
Kat Sinsuat de Castro and Pancho Juanitez — Best-Friends Couple. When Kat met Pancho, she could well be singing this lyrics: “I’d never ask you to change. If perfect’s what you’re searching for, then just stay the same,” from Bruno Mars’ song, Just the Way You Are. It might be love at first sight for Kat, but that first meeting turned into six years of solid friendship — at first. If they were Disney characters, Kat and Pancho’s friendship would be like Dory and Marlin from Finding Nemo. That’s how cute and adorable they both are!
Just like out of a movie, it did not take long for Kat and Pancho’s friendship to turn into a relationship — from best friends to lovers! This is really not rocket science because research shows that a huge percentage of relationships stem from friendships. That said, for those pining for their friendship to turn into a relationship, don’t get your hopes too high because per other research, there’s also a huge percentage that friendships don’t become relationships because the other party does not feel the same way.
Kat and Pancho showed all the signs that they were ready to take their friendship into the next level: there were plenty of harmless flirting and lots of physical touching, they can’t get enough of each other, endless back and forth of texting and past midnight calls, giving each other affectionate names, and even when they’re with their group of friends, they only had eyes for each other.
When I first met Kat in Vancouver, I was struck by how down to earth she was! There were no airs and graces for someone who is the daughter of the former Vice President of the Philippines, Kabayan Noli de Castro. I also loved the fact that she was game and adventurous — we went for a long, long, walk along the seawall before having dinner! Kat is a multi-awarded journalist and TV personality. She was the former host of the business magazine show Swak na Swak, and the travel show Trip na Trip, which were both produced by their own production house, Bayan Productions, and aired on ABS-CBN. She was also a host for her father’s own public affairs program Magandang Gabi, Bayan and a reporter for ABS-CBN News. She is currently the General Manager for PTV-4. She is one of the many staunch supporters of President Rodrigo Roa Duterte.
Pancho, on the other hand, is more private and more low-key, but a helluva talented drummer and musician! He is also an astute businessman (owner of Pancho Meals Manila, a food and beverage party catering company) and a successful special events organizer. Let’s read more about these best friends turned lovebirds!
Was it love at first sight? What was it about him/her that caught your attention?
Kat: “For me it was love at first sight. For some reason, I’ve always been attracted to musicians. The first time I saw Pancho, I was immediately taken away by his good singing skills and his amazing drumming skills. But when I tried to ask one of his bandmates to introduce him to me, he begged off because he had to prepare for his next set. Such a snob!” ???
Pancho: “When I have a gig, I focus all my energy in performing. When I was told that Kat wanted to meet me, I just shrugged her off, but I did notice that Kat was low key. She was the daughter of the Vice President, but she was not surrounded by security. She just had a few friends with her. When she came back to watch our band on another day, I went to her table to say hi. We became friends at first. That was in 2010.”
If you had one word to describe your relationship what would it be?
Kat: “It’s “home.” I feel safe around Pancho. I can’t sleep without him beside me… and when I’m stressed out, he knows how to calm me down.”
Pancho: “Destiny. We started off as friends. Had other relationships but we would always meet even outside the Philippines! Then in 2017, I realized Kat is for keeps.”
How long has your relationship been and what keeps you both together?
Kat: “We were friends for 6 years and in a relationship for almost 4 years now. We just mesh spectacularly together. He’s the yin to my yang.”
Pancho: “We know each other very well and mature enough to not dwell on petty things that other younger couples seem to fight about all the time. When I’m out of the house, Kat does not call me every hour. She trusts me.”
What’s your most cherished memory together?
Kat: “HongKong Disneyland back in 2017. It was our first trip abroad as a couple. Pancho hates roller coasters but he didn’t want me to ride Space Mountain alone. We rode it 6 times and though he was always on the verge of throwing up, he still went because he didn’t want to leave me. For someone to face one of his fears just to be with me? That’s love right there!”
Pancho: “When I realized I cannot imagine my life without Kat. We were having dinner back in April 2017 and for some reason, when she took a bite out of her yakitori and smiled at me, I had an epiphany: I am hopelessly in love with her.”
There are five love languages: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Which one is your love language?
Kat: “Quality time! I work 24/7 so when I’m given the opportunity to slow down a bit, I shower Pancho and my child, Khloe, with lots of love and attention!”
Pancho: “Words of affirmation. Kat is a gifted writer. Words are especially important to her. I always tell her how much I love her and how amazing she is as a woman.”
Where is your favorite place to be with him/her?
Kat: “CALGARY!!! I love the ice and snow. I can always ask for a hug without looking too cheesy. Plus, it was also in Calgary when we started talking about getting married and building a future together.”
Pancho: “It has to be out of the country where Kat does not think of work too much. If I had my way, there would be no cellphone signal since her phone never stops ringing when we’re in the Philippines. I’d say Lake Louise in Canada.”
What makes you really happy in your relationship?
Kat: “Pancho is one of my pillars of strength. When everything else fails, I can always count on Pancho to lift up my spirits. He keeps me sane and he makes me feel invincible.”
Pancho: “Her unconditional love. She can choose any guy she wants but she chose me. Kat accepted me with all my flaws. She made me a better man than I could ever be.”
JP Montilla and John Paul Santos — Same Gender Couple. Even their names, JP and John Paul go together like crimson and clover! JP and John Paul’s love story is definitely a match made in heaven. It’s not often that you get to be with someone who is your bacon to your eggs or the sugar to your spice.
Love is love. Love gives everyone the right to be free and to live our lives exactly the way we want to live our lives — and that includes the people we choose to be in a relationship with — because of love. This is the basis and the foundation of JP and John Paul’s relationship. Their relationship is no different from other couples: it has patience, understanding, respect, tolerance and security. They put each other first. Most importantly, they believe in a monogamous relationship.
JP would trek out in a hurricane even with a high fever after a long day’s work just to get John Paul’s favourite take out. On the other hand, John Paul would walk six miles a day just to visit JP in the hospital (if JP gets hospitalized). JP and John Paul are also brutally honest with each other; neither would hesitate to tell each other if they’re acting like a whiny little twit and would remind them to start behaving. That’s the depth of their connection. If that’s not love, then pray tell, what is?
JP Montilla is Manila’s most sought-after wedding coordinator. Every high society bride in Manila would pay triple just to have JP organize her wedding. Every debutante’s wish is to have her coming out party coordinated by JP. He’s been doing this amazing job for 25 years! Not to mention, he co-owns and manages a tailor shop in Pasig, Tailory Manila since 2017. I know JP from my hotelier days at The Peninsula Manila. He would always brighten up our corporate office each time he passes by to go and meet the Banquet Sales executives. I could hear his laughter a block away from my office chair at the Food and Beverage office. JP is full of life and he is extremely kind and generous. No wonder he is blessed with a loving partner — kindness begets kindness.
Meanwhile, John Paul has been with IBM for 11 years working as an Accountant. Currently, aside from being an Accountant, he is also handling global automation projects. John Paul tries to keep an active lifestyle whether it’s lifting weights in the gym or just a simple jog around the village. He is a keen supporter of UNICEF and UNHCR. Since his youngest brother has Down syndrome, John Paul wishes he could also help foundations that support individuals with Down Syndrome.
February is the Down Syndrome Consciousness month, John Paul just wanted to share an awareness that people living with Down Syndrome are Angels of God. He is asking anyone reading this article NOT to take advantage of their innocence, rather to take that innocence as an opportunity for us, normal people, to hone people living with Down Syndrome to be the best person they could be for their families and for society. Again, no wonder John Paul has a loving partner — goodness begets goodness.
Let’s take a glimpse on this wonderful couple’s love story and perhaps we can learn a thing or two about relationship goals.
Was it love at first sight? What was it about him that caught your attention?
JP: “On our first meeting, I knew I wanted to be with him and see where it takes us. Thankfully, it’s been almost 12 years and we’re still going strong!”
John Paul: “It was actually a “blinding” first sight. I was still finishing college then and I was so surprised that a person can actually wear “blinding” pieces of jewelry in the middle of the afternoon!”
If you had one word to describe your relationship what would it be?
JP: “It would be BLISS!”
John Paul: “JOY!”
How long has your relationship been and what keeps you both together?
JP: “We are turning 12 years in March; I would say that having an open communication and being honest with each other keeps us together.”
John Paul: “We are turning 12 in March. We have highs and lows (mostly highs) but what really kept our relationship strong is the respect we both have for each other. I should say, both of us became masters of adjustments to keep the balance in the relationship.”
What’s your most cherished memory together?
JP: “Our first trip abroad, which was years ago. I’ve always believed that you discover each other more when you travel.”
John Paul: “Personally, my most cherished memory of us together was when he stood beside me and cheered for me when my dad was sick back in 2012. You must be wondering why such a sad memory? Obviously, we shared so many fun trips and memorable dinners, but this one stuck to my memory because he never left me. I really appreciated him driving from the center of Manila (Mandaluyong City) to the southern side (Alabang). That little effort means the world to me. I just felt his immeasurable love for me.”
There are five love languages: acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. Which one is your love language?
JP: “For me, it would have to be a word of affirmation and gift giving.”
John Paul: “For me, physical touch and spending quality time together.”
Where is your favorite place to be with him?
JP: “It has to be Japan or Bangkok! It’s my favourite place to be with JP, because we are on vacation mode whenever we’re outside the country.”
John Paul: “Honestly, it’s our favorite restaurant, Via Mare. I always enjoy the sight I see while I’m having my spicy tuyo flakes (dried fish) and seeing him gobble his favourite Pancit Luglug; then, JP will suddenly make a comment or a funny sound because he dirtied his shirt (again and again). He eats like a child.”
What makes you really happy in your relationship?
JP: “We have perfected the right balance in our relationship. We both know when we have to take a step back and when we can step forward; for instance, we know when to give each other space.”
John Paul: “I am probably just lucky that both of us know how to bend to each other’s requirements. We both know when to step back and let the other one lead and move forward if it is the other’s turn to lead. Plus, JP might look strong and established, but when we are together, he is just like a kid. Taking care of him is my greatest joy.”
Ahhh…LOVE! To quote C. Joybell C.: “You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever….connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” And that’s why these four couples are #couplegoals!
