Distance Doesn’t Matter: 6 Tips when you’re geographically separated with your lover

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By Arianne Lacanilao, Philippine Canadian Inquirer

It takes two to tango as they say and the key to a successful relationship lies in solid communication and trust. And hey, if you’re separated by miles, a stable Wi-Fi connection is as crucial as trust itself—after all, what good is heartfelt communication without a reliable internet connection to deliver those loving messages across the digital divide? Kidding aside, navigating a long-distance relationship (LDR) requires patience, creativity, and a strong commitment from both parties.

Drawing from insights gathered from couples who have successfully bridged the distance, including my own experiences, I’ve compiled a set of tried-and-tested tips to help you maintain a thriving connection. These strategies can make the journey more enjoyable and ensure your bond grows stronger despite the miles apart.

Without further ado, here are some reads for you to turn things around and some rules we made that worked for us, and could work for you.

#1. Trust

Building trust is a mutual effort between both individuals to feel secure and rely on each other. While it can be challenging in a long-distance relationship where physical presence is limited, investing complete trust in your partner can resolve many issues that arise. The only secret worth keeping is one planned to surprise your significant other. Furthermore, stay updated and transparent about your activities—never lie. As a wise person once said, “Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.”

“In our relationship, trust is what we need to prolong our love and make it stronger.” Diane & Patrick

3 yrs in LDR: Diane (PH) & Patrick (Italy)

#2. Communication

This is essential. No relationship (even non-LDR ones) will work if they don’t speak with each other. Always find time to communicate. If you are busy and can’t find time, just give a heads-up to your partner that you can’t make it to your “babe time.” When you find the time to keep Skype alive, make sure you don’t just talk AT your partner, talk WITH him/her. Always add spice to your topics, don’t video call (VC) just because it’s time to.  This is important; know the difference between the two. It can’t be a routine even if it’s scheduled. Keep in mind that there are also instances when it’s acceptable to skip babe time, this time, let it go and don’t pressure them. Even if you are far apart, being overly clingy has bad sides too.

“If there’s no communication in a relationship, it’s like not having a relationship at all.” – Reymar & Margeli

5 yrs in LDR: Reymar (Las Vegas) & Margelli (PH)

#3. Effort

Being there for the other person and making the effort to give time each day even on your busy days, shouldn’t feel like it is a responsibility. Know each other’s schedules so you can organize your timetable. If you’re receiving this kind of effort from your partner and it’s CONSTANT, learn to appreciate this effort because it’s A++. Remember, different locations could mean different time zones too and that means more efforts should be made from both ends. Efforts take a lot of work, but if it is to make your partner happy, it is worth it.

“Effort is the willingness to show how much you care for the person you love.” – Martin and Pau

3 yrs in LDR: Martin (Canada) & Pau (PH)

#4. Patience

You and your partner aren’t stuck with the distance. Plan your future, and break down your goals/bucket lists into short-term, mid-term, and long-term. This way when you target your goals, you can easily achieve them. One fun way is to talk about your next meet-ups, plan your trips, and make to-do-together lists. Positivity is the key, don’t dwell on being away from each other, instead, I recommend to always look up to the day when you are meeting again.

“Being in a long-distance relationship is hard but it taught us the definition of patience and to appreciate the moments spent together. It is a reminder that every day and second spent together is special and should be cherished. And, if you can love, trust, respect, and support each other you will find a way to make it work.” – Aldrea and Chris

Aldrea & Chris (Canada)

#5. Respect

It’s never appropriate to tolerate disrespect from one because of “love” and this is one way to lead you to bye-byes when you do. Respect each other’s differences, value each other’s independence, set each other’s boundaries, and give each other freedom. Not being able to be with our partners physically may serve as a huge hurdle for us, but we must respect them all the time. Understand that the other person has her/his own life ahead of them, they did not commit to be in a relationship with you to revolve around you.

“Respect is to truly understand your partner’s needs, pains, fully accept each other’s opinions and floss, and making the right decisions together that will only benefit the relationship.” – Jeia & Oscar

5 yrs LDR, 11 yrs in a relationship: Jeia (Chicago) & Oscar (San Diego, CA)

“Respect, it never stops. :>” – Alecs & Krizelle

2 months LDR, 5 yrs in a relationship: Alecs (PH) & Krizelle (Grand Cayman Islands)

#6. Choice

Although it’s going to be a rough patch for the both of you, always pick each other. Your relationship is up to your hands, if something happens, it is because you both chose it to happen. Always team up with your partner and decide to choose each other even if there are more options.

“Long-distance relationships entail a lot of love and trust, there will always be ups and downs but at the end of the day, still, it’s your “Choice” to be in that relationship and its your decision to love the person and accept the reality that distance will always be part of your relationship.” – Jona and Ailo

Jonalyn (PH) & Ailo (Seaman)

I’m sure there are more ways to maintain a strong long-distance relationship and as long as you follow these six tips, I guarantee the possibility of being over the moon and achieving a happy ending with your far-away partner. Distance is merely a challenge; the romance thrives on how you and your partner navigate it. So, buckle up and hold on tight for the journey ahead in your long-distance relationship.