{"id":76883,"date":"2016-06-05T04:23:36","date_gmt":"2016-06-05T08:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/?p=76883"},"modified":"2016-06-05T04:23:36","modified_gmt":"2016-06-05T08:23:36","slug":"rocking-fatherhood-dudes-guide-staying-cool","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/2016\/06\/05\/rocking-fatherhood-dudes-guide-staying-cool\/","title":{"rendered":"Rocking fatherhood: A dude\u2019s how-to guide on staying cool"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Rocking<\/a>
Rocking Fatherhood book cover (Da Capo Press\/Lifelong Books<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

NEW YORK \u2013 Before parenthood, Chris Kornelis rocked it as a music writer for Seattle Weekly. Two kids later, he\u2019s still making a living as a writer, a freelancer, and recently added a new book to his resume, a how-to guide for dads-to-be who want to stay cool.<\/p>\n

And he rocks that, too. Who else gets Guns N\u2019 Roses bassist Duff McKagan to write his foreword, in which he recalls of his own road trip to fatherhood: \u201cI remember reading \u2018What to Expect When You\u2019re Expecting\u2019 when my wife was pregnant with our first daughter. I also remember being, quite frankly, freaked-the-(bleep) out.\u201d<\/p>\n

Well said, Duff.<\/p>\n

This book, \u201cRocking Fatherhood,\u201d takes a cheeky week-by-week approach that might just soothe some new daddy nerves and help out in the empathy, sympathy, gotta-buy-some-gear departments.<\/p>\n

With kids who are now 5 and 14 months, Kornelis, 34, takes on everything from ear infections to egg poaching, breast-feeding to bonding. There\u2019s swaddling, playlists and quirky interviews, like his chat with the pediatrician of his childhood.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s also the angst he endured after being laid off from Seattle Weekly while shouldering the responsibility of breadwinner for a growing family. Was it time to abandon big dreams in favor of fatherhood? Forget taking career risks to earn a bigger paycheck?<\/p>\n

Ultimately, he decided his \u201cbig project\u201d post unemployment wasn\u2019t a big project at all. It was a lifestyle choice: to continue freelancing and writing books so he could be around for the family.<\/p>\n

A conversation with Chris Kornelis:<\/p>\n

AP: What kind of cool are you writing about, the cool of being a music journalist or the cool that helps you avoid being stabbed in the neck by your pregnant and emotional wife?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: The cool as in not losing your cool and remaining calm and really taking the opportunity to enjoy the special time that is having a new baby. It\u2019s a really exciting time. It\u2019s not the time to get unnecessarily stressed and anxious.<\/p>\n

AP: Where do dads go wrong generally during pregnancy?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: For me, I was able to kind of subconsciously, in a way, forget that my wife was pregnant and not always be as attentive as I should have.<\/p>\n

My wife has a different definition of cleanliness than I do, for example. If it weren\u2019t for her I would literally be living in my own filth. There were times during her pregnancy when I would actually get frustrated. Like why are you cleaning the shower, why aren\u2019t you sitting down and putting your feet up?<\/p>\n

That was bad on me. I should have said… I know she has a hard time relaxing when things aren\u2019t picked up and I need to step forward and do a little bit more.<\/p>\n

AP: Do you think younger dads get it more than, say, the \u201cLeave it to Beaver\u201d dad?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: My dad was a fantastic father. My dad was a very active dad. He didn\u2019t have as many of the opportunities that I did in the sense that there wasn\u2019t as much of a flexible work environment. I have had more flexibility so I\u2019ve played a slightly different role.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a function of my dad not getting it, because he really did. It was the reality of the time.<\/p>\n

AP: Why is the diaper bag so important to dudes? What is your dream bag?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: It IS important. You\u2019re going to be using it all day, every day. Get a bag that\u2019s not like a fanny pack. Buy something you can see yourself carrying. There\u2019s no reason to put on the sweats and use a gross nylon bag. Get the good one. I say go for it. We\u2019re still members of the human race. If you can treat yourself, treat yourself. Get a leather backpack if that\u2019s what you like. I like the Filson bags.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the whole having a baby changes everything \u2013 and it sucks \u2013 undertone. You don\u2019t have to give up.<\/p>\n

AP: What are some of your cautionary tales?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: The sleep deprivation is real. The sympathy pregnancy weight is real. I just gave away a pair of $200 jeans because I\u2019ve been very sympathetic for the last couple of years.<\/p>\n

Another thing is the over-worrying about breast-feeding. I wish we would have spent less time the first time around worrying about whether our son was fed off the breast or with a bottle. He\u2019s going to turn out just fine either way.<\/p>\n

AP: Your elephant in the room during pregnancy is \u201cWhat to Expect When You\u2019re Expecting.\u201d What\u2019s your take on that pregnancy bible?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: We had it in the house. You take it for what it\u2019s worth. It has good information but it places as much emphasis on all of these things that could go wrong that probably aren\u2019t going to go wrong… I mean, people generally don\u2019t need to be worried about shark attacks but that book is like a shark attack for every week.<\/p>\n

AP: So what\u2019s on your list of things many parents think they need to know during pregnancy, but don\u2019t really need to worry about?<\/p>\n

Kornelis: We should be focusing on what we know is going to happen, focusing on the family and not things that have very slim chances of ever happening. We should be focusing on what we know is going to happen, focusing on the family.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

NEW YORK \u2013 Before parenthood, Chris Kornelis rocked it as a music writer for Seattle Weekly. Two kids later, he\u2019s …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":76890,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[5607,11057],"class_list":["post-76883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle","tag-fatherhood","tag-rocking-fatherhood","mauthors-leanne-italie","mauthors-the-associated-press"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=76883"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/76883\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/76890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=76883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=76883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=76883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}