{"id":26751,"date":"2014-09-25T11:54:43","date_gmt":"2014-09-25T03:54:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/?p=26751"},"modified":"2014-10-03T00:14:00","modified_gmt":"2014-10-02T16:14:00","slug":"its-so-not-a-snuggle-with-a-struggle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/2014\/09\/25\/its-so-not-a-snuggle-with-a-struggle\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s SO NOT a Snuggle with a Struggle"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Photo<\/a>
Photo taken by writer Karen Kunawicz , posted on her Facebook timeline.<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cIT’S NOT RAPE \/ IT’S A SNUGGLE WITH A STRUGGLE\u201d read the statement tee-shirt \u2013 emblazoned with big, bold white letters, two hands forming a heart-shape in between two text lines\u2014shown in the photo.<\/p>\n

I almost could not believe my eyes: was this Tee FOR REAL??? Surely, this was some idiotic prank generated by Photoshop and a sick mind. If not for the fact that this was posted on writer, pop-culture icon, and my dear friend, Karen Kunawicz\u2019s Facebook timeline, I would have seriously doubted its authenticity.<\/p>\n

Then again, such are the times in which we live, it seems.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally SM Department Store? In the boy’s section? “It’s Not Rape, It’s A Snuggle With A Struggle?” SM\u2014the same mall that has the daily angelus and refused to show Tim Burton’s “Sweeney Todd” in the cinemas? Boys listen to Tita Karen\u2014if a girl says NO and pushes you away, just err on the side of caution, she likely means NO. And go watch “Sweeney Todd.” WTF, SM,\u201d was how Karen captioned the photo.<\/p>\n

Karen happened upon the shirt while out shopping at SM ShoeMart\u2019s Megamall branch. Not at some underground shop selling expletive tees (not that that would have made it any more correct; just a tad more expected, perhaps). This wasn\u2019t hanging on a rack next to some \u201cF*ck the Police\u201d or \u201cI <3 Hitler\u201d shirt; this was hanging next to run-of-the-mill statement tees on the racks of the country\u2019s largest super chain retailer! AND\u2014here\u2019s where it gets REALLY demented\u2014this particular rack of tees was located at the TEEN\u2019S DEPARTMENT, Boy\u2019s section!<\/p>\n

The evil trifecta (a \u201crape joke\u201d + major distribution + a young, impressionable market) of rape, trivialized. Commercialized. Monetized, even. Sick\u2014utterly so.<\/p>\n

This definitely went down among my biggest face-palm moments\u2014no, make that slap-myself-silly moments\u2014ever. \u201cHow could this have happened?\u201d I asked myself, as did many others. I was livid, incensed, outraged; as were many others.<\/p>\n

The post quickly went viral. Overnight, it was shared close to 2,000 times, and received almost as many \u201clikes.\u201d Two days later, at the time of this writing, the share count is up to almost 5,000. The post was picked-up by local news sites, as well as by those in countries further away: New Zealand, the United Kingdom, Australia, the UK, the US and Singapore; among many others.<\/p>\n

Disbelief and disgust<\/h6>\n

Karen recounts her own disbelief, which quickly turned to disgust, upon first seeing the shirt: “I’m usually a calm person but I was shaking when I saw it, which resulted in the poor quality photo that has been making the rounds,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

She did not, in that almost surreal moment, think to take a photo of the shirt\u2019s label. People wanted to know who was behind this ludicrous design; people wanted to see that these misogynistic monsters would get their comeuppance, somehow.<\/p>\n

\u201cThoughts that ran through my head: What is this doing here? Though after that, you realize a sentiment like that does not belong anywhere,\u201d Karen\u2014who is mother to an almost-teenage boy\u2014added.<\/p>\n

Netizens\u2019 fury<\/h6>\n

The disgust quickly spread through the avenues of social media: \u201dI’m angry not just with SM but with the group of idiots that envisioned and actually produced this. This messed up message is DELIBERATE. Sinong shirt manufacturer yan<\/em>?!!\u201d, exclaimed one Facebook user.<\/p>\n

\u201cSM needs to not only pull this shirt, they need to issue a very public apology to rape victims everywhere, and make a costly monetary donation to crisis centers that help rape victims. They cannot be allowed to hide behind their consignment agreements. SM Department Store, nakakahiya kayo,<\/em>\u201d was the cry of another.<\/p>\n

Impassioned rants such as these formed the longish thread of comments, demanding for action on the part of the retail giant.<\/p>\n

The giant speaks<\/h6>\n

In a matter of hours, the buzz created on social media grew loud enough to reach the giant\u2019s ears. SM quickly pulled the shirts from their stores, and issued a statement via Twitter and Facebook. It seems that they, too, were dumbfounded; which is telling of a lack of system or a faulty cog or two within such huge operational machinery. But that\u2019s another story.<\/p>\n

The giant first spoke via Twitter:<\/p>\n

\"From<\/a>
From SM’s Official twitter account<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A second, slightly more elaborate statement came via Facebook:<\/p>\n

\"From<\/a>
From SM’s Official Facebook page<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Many were unsatisfied. Tweets and comments once again poured in, questioning SM\u2019s efficiency, quality control, and system in general. One Facebook user called the statement a \u201csorry excuse .. someone had to approve it for sale. give me a break.\u201d On Twitter, people vented just as strongly:<\/p>\n

Kari Cross\u271d \u200f@ponponwei Sep 22 .@smsupermalls<\/a>
\n\u201cyou dont even know the shirts you stock in your stores? Wow such management.\u201d<\/p>\n

maritel ledesma, md \u200f@merlmd Sep 22 @smsupermalls<\/a>
\n\u201cand the buck stops where? terrible, horrible, irresponsible\u201d<\/p>\n

JengVVJengVVallejo \u200f@JengVV Sep 22 @JojoMalig<\/a>
\n\u201cNgek. Hugas-kamay. C’mon @smsupermalls, you’re in retail since gods know when.\u201d<\/p>\n

A simple apology for an offense of such magnitude\u2014and, might I add, utter stupidity\u2014simply did not suffice.<\/p>\n

Why it\u2019s NEVER okay<\/h6>\n

On the positive, the whole incident revealed one thing: that there are\u00a0 many of us who know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that rape jokes are NEVER ok. They simply are not. And as many as voiced their indignation gives me hope that we can tear down a culture of rape.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy main concern was there were people who could not grasp the fact that the message on the shirt is so damaging across the board. People can argue about so many things\u2014politics, religion, artistas<\/em>, the traffic situation, but this issue is just so basic,\u201d Karen said.<\/p>\n

It IS basic\u2014we might even say that it is common sense. Still,\u00a0 there are those who apparently lack common sense.<\/p>\n

I remember, many months back, when Vice Ganda cracked a joke on gang rape, at the expense of a news anchor from a rival media network. This, too, stirred up quite a hornet\u2019s nest on almost all avenues of media. Some things are just NOT funny.<\/p>\n

To my amazement, however, there were those who came to the defense of rape jokes; with the justification that as long as they are \u201cwittily or tastefully done\u201d they are okay. There were those who used the \u201cfreedom of speech\u201d defense, and yet others, who tried to use \u201cart for art\u2019s sake\u201d as a way to justify rape jokes.<\/p>\n

How silly. How ignorant. And how irresponsible.<\/p>\n

Again, for those who may have missed it the first few times, RAPE JOKES ARE NEVER OKAY. A rape joke reveals<\/em> a culture of rape. A rape joke perpetuates<\/em> a culture of rape.<\/p>\n

Quoting fiction writer Angi Becker Stevens<\/a> : “Just as racist jokes can only be found funny within a culture of racism, rape jokes could not exist outside of a culture of rape.”<\/p>\n

Additionally, in an article on Ten Ways to End Rape Culture, online publication The Nation <\/a>says: \u201cDon’t laugh at rape. Most people aren’t rapists. But most rapists believe that everyone does it. What’s more, you can’t tell if you’re in the presence of a rapist. They don’t look any different from the rest of us, and may be perfectly good company. So while it might seem harmless to you to laugh at a joke that makes light of rape, your laughter could be telling an unknown rapist in your midst that you think rape is hilarious. And what’s worse: letting go of a laugh once in a while, or accidentally enabling a rapist? Your call.\u201d<\/p>\n

Also, the thing about humour\u2014and this is a well-studied fact\u2014is that it has a desensitizing effect on the consciousness; on the soul. It is so powerful a tool in this area that it is a widely-employed technique in psycho-therapy.<\/p>\n

We develop a numbness towards that at which we laugh. And sometimes, this can be a good thing. But in the case of rape, it is a terrible thing. People who laugh at rape trivialize the gravity of this crime. They justify a deplorable act as a \u201csnuggle with a struggle.\u201d<\/p>\n

People who crack rape jokes make the victims of rape relive the crime, over and over and over again. In a nutshell, this laughter is at the expense of others; at the expense of women (most especially); at the expense of our shared humanity and our society in general.<\/p>\n

Is this seriously the message we want to send the next generations? Is this the world order in which we want them to live?<\/p>\n

Disturbing developments<\/h6>\n

In a recent GMA News special report on rape in the Philippines<\/a>, some very disturbing developments came to light.<\/p>\n

In 2013, the Philippine National Police\u2019s annual report (based on their Directorate for Investigation and Detective Management data and the date from the Philippine National Police Women and Children Protection Center (PNP-WCPC)) recorded 7,409 reported rape incidents; or one every 72 minutes. And these are just the instances of REPORTED rapes.<\/p>\n

According to the GMA News report, the Center for Women\u2019s Resources (CWR) disclosed the actual count could be much higher, as data received by the PNO could very well be underreported.<\/p>\n

\u201cBatay sa aming experience, ang isang nabibiktima, lalo na ‘pag bata, ‘di kaagad siya nagkukuwento. Lalo na ‘pag tinatakot,<\/em>\u201d CWR Executive Director Jojo Guan told GMA News Research.<\/p>\n

The study brought forth an even more disturbing trend. Data of reported rapes over the last fifteen years (since 1999) showed that three out of four rape incidents brought to the PNP-WCPC involved child victims.<\/p>\n

In similar manner, data from the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) of reported rape cases in 2013 show that nearly half of the child rape cases they attended to last year involved children younger than 14 years old.<\/p>\n

And someone saw it fit to design, produce, and then sell a rape shirt in the boy\u2019s teen\u2019s section?\u00a0 Deplorable.<\/p>\n

Enough!<\/strong><\/h6>\n

Are you seeing the gravity yet? A culture of rape is being fostered and nurtured by things like rape jokes, rape shirts, sexual innuendos on mass media, etcetera. And our nation\u2019s children are the victims.<\/p>\n

Enough of the acceptance that it\u2019s okay to degrade women, and it\u2019s okay for men to be overtly sexual. Enough of the objectification of women.<\/p>\n

Make a stand. Speak up. Use social media for good. Tear down a culture of rape; one rape shirt, one rape joke, one crass comment at a time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIT’S NOT RAPE \/ IT’S A SNUGGLE WITH A STRUGGLE\u201d read the statement tee-shirt \u2013 emblazoned with big, bold white …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":26762,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1482,3,95],"tags":[7956,2981,7955,7953,7954],"class_list":["post-26751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-breaking","category-lifestyle","category-news-ph","tag-karen-kunawicz","tag-rape","tag-shoemart","tag-sm-rape-shirt","tag-snuggle-with-a-struggle","mauthors-angie-duarte","mauthors-philippine-canadian-inquirer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26751\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26762"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}