{"id":256080,"date":"2020-05-26T03:43:38","date_gmt":"2020-05-26T07:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/?p=256080"},"modified":"2020-05-26T03:43:38","modified_gmt":"2020-05-26T07:43:38","slug":"when-love-gets-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/2020\/05\/26\/when-love-gets-real\/","title":{"rendered":"When love gets real"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Everything feels natural.\u00a0It should never feel obligatory. It should feel just right and natural. Everything just works out naturally. (File Photo: Unsplash)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A smart person knows how to love but an intelligent person knows whom to love. There lies the huge difference. People with higher IQ and EQ have a difficult time finding a mate. Intelligent people would rather remain single and on their own than be with the wrong partner.<\/p>\n

First of all, what makes a person intelligent? They\u2019re highly adaptable; they understand how much they don\u2019t know; they have insatiable curiosity; they read a lot; they\u2019re open-minded; they don\u2019t mind their own company; they celebrate their wins and their losses; they have self-control; they think outside of the box, and they attract the right people because they have the sense of who they are. They love and respect themselves. Therefore, the right people love and respect them. The right people gravitate towards them. What happens when you eventually find The One you think you want to be with forever? How would you know if he or she is The Real Deal?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here are the signs when love eventually gets real:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Everything feels natural.\u00a0<\/strong>It should never feel obligatory. It should feel just right and natural. Everything just works out naturally.<\/li>\n
  2. You see your Partner in the future. When you<\/strong>\u00a0look at your partner, you see the future. You plan your life with your partner. It\u2019s not about fantasizing the future with him or her. It\u2019s actually\u00a0both of you<\/strong>\u00a0planning the future together one step at a time.<\/li>\n
  3. It\u2019s not happily ever after.\u00a0<\/strong>It\u2019s not a bed of roses and unicorns. Being in love with each other means there are good times and there are bad times in your relationship. There will always be bumps and rough patches along the way. It\u2019s how you both react to every situation and how you both adjust and adapt to every situation that matters.<\/li>\n
  4. You\u2019re equal partners. <\/strong>You both take turns with each other. You both mastered the art of give and take. You both work hard on your partnership. You don\u2019t keep a score tab. There are no blame games in your relationship.<\/li>\n
  5. Communication is an integral part of your relationship. <\/strong>There will always be fights and disagreements. However, you have both learned to communicate with each other with respect even during heated moments. You both don\u2019t resort to foul language and name-calling. It\u2019s when you both realize where you both went wrong and learn to sincerely apologize to each other after every fight.<\/li>\n
  6. Learning to accept each other\u2019s flaws.\u00a0<\/strong>It\u2019s about understanding and accepting each other\u2019s flaws, scars, and insecurities. It\u2019s about loving each other and accepting each other beyond these imperfections and embracing each other for who we really truly are.<\/li>\n
  7. You can be yourself around your Partner. <\/strong>When you\u2019re ok with your Partner seeing the worst of you in any opportune time. No makeup. When you snore. When you fart. When you\u2019re having PMS. When you\u2019re vulnerable. When you\u2019re both in love for real \u2014 none of these mundane things matter.<\/li>\n
  8. When every fight does not mean the end of your relationship. <\/strong>Relationships include fights, jealousy, tears, and disagreements. Those are given. A real relationship fights and withstands through all that with faith and love. Couples should strive to be like Tom and Jerry: no matter how many times you fight, you shan\u2019t be apart!<\/li>\n
  9. There\u2019s transparency.\u00a0<\/strong>Transparency is the core of all relationships. It is the building block of every relationship. Lack of transparency results in distrust and insecurity. Two keys to every relationship are trust and transparency. Be transparent enough to gain each other\u2019s trust. Trust enough to be transparent.<\/li>\n
  10. No more playing games!\u00a0<\/strong>No more mind games. Nada. You both don\u2019t have the desire to play with each other\u2019s minds. Neither of you are toys nor both your emotions and feelings are playgrounds.<\/li>\n
  11. It feels everlasting. <\/strong>It\u2019s not fleeting for sure. The more you get to know each other, the more reasons you love each other! The more \u201creal\u201d things you discover about each other \u2014 the more you love each other.<\/li>\n
  12. You don\u2019t rely on your Partner to complete you or make you happy<\/strong>. Your relationship with another person reflects the relationship you have with yourself. Simply put: you can\u2019t rely on other people to make you happy. We must have a good relationship with ourselves first. With that in place, it\u2019s easier to have a good relationship with others.<\/li>\n
  13. You\u2019re both supportive of each other. <\/strong>You motivate and support each other. You are both works in progress as you both grow old and build a life together. You both naturally want what is best for each other. You both bring out the best in each other.<\/li>\n
  14. There are no doubts. <\/strong>There are no ifs and buts. You are both confident in your relationship. You are both confident with each other. Insecurities destroy relationships. Remember this: always inhale confidence and exhale doubt.<\/li>\n
  15. You both make an effort in making things work.\u00a0<\/strong>You don\u2019t give up on each other. Real love requires a lot of work. It\u2019s about sharing the work of the relationship with each other.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Everyone falls in love at different tempos. That\u2019s perfectly fine. Real love takes time. It\u2019s an ever-growing process. It happens when you both went through many ups and downs; when you both cried and laughed together; when you both suffered and survived together. Now, that\u2019s real!<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A smart person knows how to love but an intelligent person knows whom to love. There lies the huge difference. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":256081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-256080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lifestyle","mauthors-matte-laurel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256080","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/33"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=256080"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256080\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":256082,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256080\/revisions\/256082"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/256081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=256080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=256080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=256080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}