{"id":11353,"date":"2014-05-21T17:02:10","date_gmt":"2014-05-21T09:02:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/?p=11353"},"modified":"2014-05-22T12:30:22","modified_gmt":"2014-05-22T04:30:22","slug":"looking-out-for-number-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canadianinquirer.net\/v1\/2014\/05\/21\/looking-out-for-number-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking Out for Number One"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Shutterstock<\/a>
Shutterstock Photo<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It is with some degree of difficulty and discomfort that I sit here and write this piece. Somehow, it\u00a0 echoes with the guilt borne of hypocrisy: \u201cPractice what you preach, woman!!!\u201d \u2013 thus screams the voice of conscience somewhere in my mind\u2019s inner recesses. I have to admit, I am not very good at putting \u201cME\u201d first. Not very good, at all.<\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s because I get caught up in the vicious cycle of \u201cWake up-work-work some more- sleep-repeat.\u201d Between job(s) and chores (I belong to the nearly extinct species of household help-less Philippine residents), it seems there are never enough hours in a day to get all my work done.<\/p>\n

Maybe it is also because I am a mother; and mothers, by nature, tend to put everyone else\u2019s needs before their own. In today\u2019s society in which most women \u201chave it all\u201d (motherhood, career, community involvement, plus meaningful relationships), finding quality time for self is especially challenging. We may \u201chave it all;\u201d all, that is, but \u201cme-time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Whatever the underlying reasons, more often than not, I find myself holding the short end of the \u201cme-time\u201d stick. And by short, I mean very, very short.<\/p>\n

So you see the dilemma in which I find myself: writing this article about the importance of me-time, and yet never having enough time for it. I am preaching to my own choir, here. A very stubborn choir that knows and believes in the importance of the matter, and yet falls short of applying it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me-time matters!<\/strong><\/p>\n

The world today is such that career and family generally come with an enormous amount of pressure attached. The drive to compete and succeed in both arenas is perhaps greater than ever. This pressure usually means that most folk, myself most definitely included, ignore those two tiny letters that form one very weighty word: ME<\/strong>.
\nThis, although true for men, is especially true in the case of women.<\/p>\n

“There’s a tremendous amount of stress and pressure put on women: being parents, being daughters, mothers, wives, professionals. All of these roles combined leave many of us not taking adequate care of ourselves — which is what sustains us and gives us the energy to take care of all these other responsibilities that we have,” says Randy Kamen Grainger, EdD, a Wayland, Mass., psychologist and life coach specializing in women’s issues.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Minus the guilt<\/strong><\/p>\n

From this timely and accurate statement of Dr. Grainger, we glean that taking care of one\u2019s self is the very basis of our ability to take care of other people, as well as our other duties. Hence, the invaluable role that me-time plays. Yet we push ourselves so much in all areas that me-time is the first to fly out the window. To boot, on the rare occasion that we do take time for me-time, we often find ourselves feeling guilty for the \u201cindulgence\u201d rather than viewing it for what it really is: a necessity.<\/p>\n

Beth Evans, manager of Mental Health Promotion at Alberta Health Services points out that “We are entitled to breaks. People need to respect that for themselves. You are taking care of yourself by taking a break. It ensures you’ll have the energy to return to whatever other roles you play, whether as a parent or a professional, or whatever your roles in life generally are.”<\/p>\n

Me-time should be a guilt-free part of our daily routine, if we are to remain functional, productive, effective, and \u2013 let\u2019s not forget \u2013 happy members of the human race.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stress buster<\/strong><\/p>\n

We have gotten so used to the noise, the hustle and bustle of life that these all-too often drown out the part of us that cries out for me-time. Ironically, many of us even become dependent on the stressors of this fast-paced existence. We push deadlines, for instance, to the last minute; addicted, almost, to the stress that this brings. Like a carriage without a horse, we do not know how to get ourselves going sans the stress.
\nUnfortunately, too much stress is not very good for you. In fact, too much stress can kill. Stress is a reaction of our body to what is going on around us, and it is part-and-parcel of our biological makeup. Experts in the field will tell you that a bit of stress is necessary in order for us to work at peak performance. Yes, some stress is beneficial; but too much of it \u2013 especially when it becomes chronic stress \u2013 is bad. We all know this, yet shun the truth much as cigarette smokers addicted to the nicotine fix ignore graphic pictures and the Surgeon General\u2019s warning.<\/p>\n

Constant, heavy stress leads to chronic stress; which causes anxiety; burnout; mental, physical, emotional fatigue; and has been linked to numerous ailments.<\/p>\n

Taking time out for me-time is one of the best ways of dealing with and managing life\u2019s stresses.<\/p>\n

Dr. Shalini Anant, clinical psychologist, says, “If you ignore yourself for a long time, it can actually take a toll on your mental as well as physical health. It can lead to lack of concentration and disorientation. A lot of negative thoughts keep troubling us, hence there should be times when we need to just be by ourselves.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Making \u201cME\u201d a priority<\/strong><\/p>\n

So now that we are hopefully convinced that we need me-time, how to do it? How do we make this a priority in our fast-paced lives?<\/p>\n

To find time for ourselves, it is helpful to remember these tips:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Plan your ‘me’ time. It won\u2019t happen by magic; neither will you be forced into it by some deus ex machina Greco-Roman inspired divine intervention of sorts. Only you can make time for yourself.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Reassess your daily schedule to determine where you can cut down on unnecessary activities in order to get more me-time in each day. 15-20 minutes of time for yourself is the recommended minimum amount for each day.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Once you have set aside and planned the time, guard the appointment! Treat this as you would a doctor\u2019s appointment, or any other schedule of great import.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Learn to say \u201cNo.\u201d Realize you cannot possibly do everything, for everyone, all the time.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Realize that it\u2019s okay to designate and delegate some tasks to others. Get help from the people around you.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Treat your me-time as a \u201cspecial date\u201d with yourself, and forget the guilt that may try to rear up its ugly head.<\/p>\n

\u2022 List down the things you enjoy doing, and plan to do one item on the list each day. These items do not have to involve lengthy or expensive activities.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Last but not the least, kick back and simply do nothing, every now and then. This is a good way to recharge, reboot, and re-acquaint yourself with your \u201cME\u201d-ness.<\/p>\n

Me-time: this choir sings its praises louder and clearer, with all that much more flourish, than ever before. And \u2013 more importantly \u2013 a newfound determination to live by it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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