We all know someone in our circle we hope would change for the better! It might be our friend. A family member. A colleague. Our other half. Or even ourselves. Let’s be honest with ourselves: there are things we don’t like about us. Now, the question is: Are people truly capable of changing? We all know zebras don’t change their stripes. Or leopards don’t change their spots. Some would say people don’t change. They are right — to an extent. Most people don’t change because they have little incentive to transform for the better. They don’t know how to change or they’re too undisciplined. They probably haven’t hit rock bottom to feel the urge to change.
A truly positive person would say humans are more like caterpillars — which metamorphosis into butterflies eventually. Indeed. I have positive news for all: humans are capable of reinventing themselves. However, real change does not happen overnight. It’s a long and thorough process. Behavioural experts say it takes 21 to 39 days to either make or break a habit.
For an individual to change his or her habits — a lot of vital things need to happen. A person must have an innermost desire to change. A person must have self-awareness without judgement. Sadly, pain and humiliation can both be good catalysts for change. We can’t change others because real transformations have to come from within. We can only change ourselves in order to make a real difference in our lives and in our environments. Whether you would like to reinvent your mindset, your attitude and behaviour, your lifestyle or your career — here are various ways to achieve major changes:
- You would need education and training when switching careers. I write based on experience. I’ve been fortunate to be able to have different careers. My first job was during my early 20’s. I worked as a waitress at The Peninsula Manila (an award-winning luxurious five-star deluxe hotel in the Philippines). Throughout my 13 years stint at The Peninsula Manila, I also grabbed the opportunity to do on the job cross-trainings. From being a waitress, I worked my way up to the corporate ladder of the hotel as Food and Beverage Division Secretary. When I returned to Vancouver for good in 2007, I switched careers. I ended up managing and handling contracts and databases for the Intellectual Property department of a biotech company. I did this for 4 years. While on this job, I studied online courses regarding Intellectual Property and earned a certificate. Then, I switched careers again and over the next 6 years, I worked for the top CEOs in Vancouver as an Executive and Personal Assistant. I worked in different industries: a large construction company, a leading credit union company, finance industry, government housing, and a non-profit sports related company. In 2017, because of my previous experience at the restaurant and hotel industry, I became a restaurateur when we opened our own Filipino restaurant in Downtown Vancouver for 2 years. Currently, I’m in the fitness industry learning how to run and operate a fitness club. Oh, and to satisfy my creativity cravings, I am a contributing writer on the side. When switching careers, I strongly advise taking online courses and getting certified on the job you want to have. If you’re working for a large company, inquire about on the job cross-training. Professionals often change careers to attain a higher level of career satisfaction. With regard to your professional life — you must follow your passion, and you must continuously evolve and thrive.
- Stick with the 21-30-66 days rule of either making or breaking your habits.Whether you want to lose weight, give up smoking or drinking, change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts — you would need to train yourself and your mindset to actually DO it and stay the course over the next 21-30-66 days consecutively. This is where your determination and perseverance will kick in. I was a wild child during my younger years. To turn my life around, I used the 21-30-66 days method and it totally worked for me. Up to this day, if I want to change something from within, I use the 21-30-66 days method and actually stick with it.
- Stay committed to reinventing yourself.Reinventing ourselves is not as easy as brushing our teeth. Hola, let’s be mature adults here — the 21-30-66 days method won’t actually work if you don’t stay committed to yourself. Highly successful people are successful because they cultivate great habits which are formed daily and require consistent commitment.
- Set up realistic SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound) goals to achieve.To be committed, you must set up realistic goals. Setting realistic goals is important because it keeps an individual’s motivation up. An individual who sets unrealistic goals is more likely to become discouraged through the process and is therefore more likely to give up on the goal. You may have vague desires floating around in your head. Goal setting gives you clarity about what you want. Effective goals help you to set out, in concrete terms, exactly what you want.
- Always look in the mirror and be honest with yourself, constantly analyze yourself.It always helps when you look at yourself and do an in-depth self-reflection. Ask yourself these questions: “what do I want to achieve in my career?”, “how much do I want to earn by a certain stage in my life?”, “what type of education, skills-set do I need to achieve my goals?”, “what is my passion in life?”, “how much weight should I lose/gain?”, “which negative trait should I lose and change?” Unless you take the time to assess yourself and to ask yourself these questions, you will fall off track and lose sight of your goals.
- Always look at the big picture.See yourself outside yourself. Picture yourself as a work in progress. In this way, you don’t get upset with yourself or come on down too hard on yourself. Just like a painter or a sculptor, you view yourself as a work of art — just focus on working on yourself.
- Embrace failure and learn to take more calculated risks.At one point, during my several transitions in life, I went back to school to learn 3D Animation as I thought I’d change my career from Intellectual Property to Animation. At that time, I was a working single mom too. I ended up doing way too much of multitasking — I totally burned out. I wasn’t able to finish my course. I was depressed. Eventually and with time, I learned to accept and embrace my failure. In failing, you learn why the things you were ignoring were actually important. I had a burst of determination and strength of purpose to try again. Failure makes you more focused on a successful outcome next time. Embracing failure allows us to take more risks. Once we come to terms with having failed and survived, we can take greater risks. You have to learn to get out of your comfort zones, take that uncomfortable leap into the unknown, to be able to achieve your fullest potential.
- Surround yourself with positive people who will be your second mirrors in your life.When you surround yourself with positive influences, it becomes that much easier to stay focused on your end goals. You’ll feel better about yourself. You’ll feel invigorated and driven when you spend time with positive friends. You won’t be as stressed out. You also need people who will be a mirror to you. You need people who are not afraid to tell you the truth and challenge you in a positive manner. Stay away from manipulative and negative people who bad-mouth you behind your back, they don’t add anything to your life.
Change is inevitable while growth is optional. Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself. We are never too old to reinvent ourselves!