How To Be An Alpha Woman

Our lives don’t need to follow a straight line. The most fulfilling lives are those…

That zig.

That zag.

That evolves.

Too many of us get caught chasing the “perfect path.” Don’t. Life is not meant to be perfect. Embrace it for what it is: full of ebbs and flows. Swing with the highs and dip with the lows. Keep swimming with the waves. And at times, learn to swim against the tide. These are the zigs and the zags that make our lives a story that’s worth telling. 

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Apart from the zigs and zags, it’s a must that we keep evolving. I’m a firm believer in this. 

In my teens, I was a teenage rebel studying in London, England. Back then, I didn’t think I had a future! 

In my 20s, this was the turning point in my life. I got rid of all my vices and I became a hotelier (I worked for The Peninsula Manila) and learned the importance of hard work and dedication. 

In my early 30s, I became a Mom. The most fulfilling role I get to have even up to this day! I was at my healthiest form! (I was still a hotelier working at Sofitel Philippines).

In my mid-30s, I managed the Intellectual Property Department of the Corporate Legal Division for a Biotechnology Company (Neuromed and Zalicus Pharmaceutical) in UBC, Vancouver while juggling duties and responsibilities as a single mother. 

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In my 40s, I assisted CEOs and Presidents from various industries: Finance (Vancity), Construction (Kindred Construction), Mining (Goldcorp), Private Equity (Highland West Capital), Government (BC Housing and ViaSport BC) while raising a teen on my own. 

In my early 50s, it was my first venture into the world of being an entrepreneur. I spent 2 years running and managing our family-owned Filipino restaurant. Unfortunately, it didn’t do well because of the location. It was a failure from which I learned a lot of valuable lessons. At the same time, I was a proud mom of a Cum Laude university graduate. 

In my early 50s to mid 50s (present), I found my biggest romance and became extremely hands-on, managing the sales department of my husband’s 45-year-old fitness club company. At the same time, I’m a Lifestyle Columnist for Vancouver’s largest and biggest Filipino-Canadian news website and newspaper, the Philippine Canadian Inquirer. Writing is my passion. I’m also a proud mom of a Software Engineer. 

God willing, my goal is to evolve again into another career path in my 60’s. I have my eyes set on a certain industry which requires me to go back to school and take courses. I don’t think I’ll ever retire. I’m a self-confessed workaholic. 

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Yes, keep evolving. After all, change is the end result of all true growth and learning. Stay focused on your lane. Above all, don’t compare your lives to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time. 

Know this: You create your own destiny by the choices you make in life. You are the storyteller of your own life story, so make it a beautiful story by living your life to the fullest!

Unknowingly, because of my thirst for continuous growth and embracing the zigs and zags in my life, I have turned myself into an Alpha woman. To be an alpha woman is to have independence (both emotionally and financially), ambition, resilience, and the ability to inspire others through being authentic, having an inner peace and strength, and the desire for continuous personal growth and compassion for others. 

Here are the key behaviours and traits of an Alpha woman: 

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She sets boundaries. This is a must. As an alpha woman, you must set boundaries, and you must respect your personal limits and effectively communicate them to others in order to foster mutual respect from others.

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She chooses her inner circle wisely. Avoid toxic relationships. Avoid drama-laden relationships (be it friendships or romantic relationships). Avoid fake friends. Cultivate relationships with authentic people, those who are naturally positive, those who will uplift you with encouragement coupled with upbeat energy and those who will respect your boundaries.

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She does not settle for less than what she deserves. She prioritizes her wellbeing and values by not accepting situations, relationships, and opportunities that are well below her standards. She refuses to feel undervalued, unfulfilled, and disrespected. 

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She takes good care of herself. She eats well. She lives an active and healthy lifestyle. She lives a balanced life. She invests heavily in her physical and mental wellbeing. 

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She communicates effectively. She’s always honest, direct, upfront and clear about how she communicates with others. She’s also a great listener and has a deep understanding of other people’s feelings. 

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She’s a natural leader, takes constant initiatives but does not hog the spotlight. She is in charge of her life and her goals. A natural leader without trying too hard, she inspires others with her authentic self and by the way she lives her life. She doesn’t demand respect or attention. She doesn’t feel the need to be the center of attention, and she doesn’t hog the spotlight! 

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She’s independent in all aspects of her life. She earns her own money. She can be alone and not feel lonely. She doesn’t rely on others. She’s fully capable of being herself and on her own. She’s totally self-reliant. 

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She’s not afraid of life’s challenges. Even when she’s faced with obstacles in life, she’s still resilient and determined to overcome these challenges. She views these setbacks as an opportunity to learn from them. 

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She is committed to continuous growth and learning. Age does not deter her from constant growth and learning. She’s naturally curious and always keen on self-improvement by learning new skills! 

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She has empathy and compassion for others. A true and authentic alpha woman possesses great empathy for others and has a compassionate heart. It’s also never a put-on. Her empathy is for real.

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She is built with confidence. She has no insecurities and has strong beliefs in her abilities and potential. She trusts her own decisions and choices in life. 

To be an Alpha woman, focus on developing and cultivating these traits through self-care, self-work, conscious efforts, not by competing, but by becoming your best version and by embracing a positive mindset and attitude. Remember this: an Alpha woman is confident in her intelligence, her drive, her abilities, and her end game.