We Are The Sum Of Our Choices

Most people tell me I’m lucky. No, darlings. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LUCK. I worked hard for most of my life and I still do (at present, I work in our business 6 days a week and I’m thankful for it). Gratefully, I made smart choices and decisions in life and I still choose wisely every day. As a single working mom, it was my choice to raise my only son on my own and I made sure I sent him to the best schools both in Manila and in Vancouver. When my son was 9 years old, I chose to uproot ourselves and moved to Vancouver for good because I wanted to give my son a better quality of life. I also made sure that we lived in the best neighbourhoods with zero help and no support from anyone (I always paid for the roof over our heads). I was 100% financially and emotionally responsible for my unico hijo until he was ready to be independent at age 21.

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Upon our move to Vancouver, I chose my first job in a biotech company because it offered a high paying position with lots of benefits and perks. Since then, I made sure I only chose jobs that paid handsomely and job positions that will further improve my skills. I also carefully chose my son’s schools from elementary to secondary. I made sure I chose to live and work within walking distance to my son’s schools. By doing so, we avoided the hassles of having to commute from our home to his school and to my work. This wise decision gave us the balanced lifestyle that we needed in our lives. After graduating from his secondary school, I gave my son the power to choose his post secondary education and university. Thus, my son eventually graduated from University With Distinction and he chose a career that he is truly passionate about. 

After I was done raising my son and when I was ready to settle down in my old age, I chose my last lifetime partner wisely — I made sure I married a man who can add positive values to my life. I chose  Vancouver’s Fitness Legend  because of the way he treats me — like a Queen. In life, I always refuse to settle for less and that includes choosing a husband — I learned well from my past two failed relationships. I chose a lifetime partner who is a great provider. He is someone who is consistent with providing safety for me. He is consistent with providing stability. 

As a constant provider, my husband knows that his role in our marriage isn’t merely to exist — he is there to provide support by showing up consistently and by showing me that he’s got me covered. I chose a partner who does not make excuses, instead, he makes adjustments for me. Not because he feels obliged, but because it comes naturally to him and because he prioritizes me. That’s why I chose my husband and to quote Kiersten White (which was part of our wedding vows), “I will choose him again in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find him and I’d choose him.”

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Now, when it comes to my inner circle, I am super selective and I purposefully prefer to keep my circle small — I’m blessed to have my Sisterhood Tribe (a group of 7 trusted and carefully selected close girlfriends) and they complete me so they’re all I need. I choose to live in my own little world: I created my own little world that’s both positive and peaceful. I choose to avoid socializing in the community because I want to avoid drama and gossip; and I don’t really go for small polite chats. I don’t like rubbing shoulders with a room full of strangers; the very thought of it, makes me uncomfortable. I choose to block rumour mongers; I choose to unfriend and delete friends who turned into backstabbers — I just remove them from my world and I move onwards. 

I’ve chosen to cut ties with toxic people and get rid of drama-laden relationships (even familial relationships) because I refuse to spend my remaining years stressed out and miserable with toxic people. I ignore my detractors and critics. I don’t need anyone’s approval and validation because I’m confident in my own abilities and self worth. I choose to stay in my own lane. I mind my own business (both literally and figuratively). My husband and I choose to live our daily lives by: prioritizing our health; spending quality time with my little family (my unico hijo William and my husband), my in-laws, and my Sisterhood Tribe; we make sure we live a balanced lifestyle; we have slow mornings; we get lots of sleep; we indulge in weekend date nights; we treasure having a peaceful mind, and calm moments; we love being surrounded by positive people; we both have uplifting daily habits; we embrace gratitude and maintain our emotional growth. FOR MY HUSBAND AND I, A SIMPLE POSITIVE LIFE IS THE TRUE KEYNOTE OF AN ELEGANT LIFESTYLE. And that’s how we choose to live our lives — devoid of drama and conflicts.

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Suffice to say, we are the sums of our choices in our lives. I’d like to share a few examples on how I learned to make the best choices in life: 

LEARN FROM PAST MISTAKES. I always use my past mistakes as a guideline when it comes to making decisions in life. I view my personal errors in life as a tool for personal improvement and growth.

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GATHER INFORMATION. Before making any decisions in everything, collecting information and doing a thorough research on pertaining facts is essential to making the right options.

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SEEK ADVICE FROM PEOPLE YOU TRUST. If you are in doubt, always seek out the advice from those you regard highly and trust their opinions. They can contribute wisely with valuable insights. 

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IDENTIFYING THE CHOICE YOU HAVE TO MAKE. It is vital and a must that you first understand and identify clearly the matter or issue that you have to make a decision on.

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IDENTIFY OTHER POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVES. Once you’ve assessed the issue and matter thoroughly, identify all other possible solutions and options you have before deciding on your best option. Always make your choices that best align with your vision, your goals in life, your priorities, and set values in life.

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ALWAYS CONSIDER THE LONG-TERM EFFECTS AND CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DECISIONS. Before making any final decisions, you must always be aware of all the pros and cons, and more importantly, the long-term consequences and effects of the choices you make. 

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BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND REFLECT ON THE MATTER. It is best to look inward for any biases you might have that may affect the choices you make in any situation. Be aware that your own biases can influence your decisions and that might make an undesirable impact or result on your choices. Always be aware of your motivations in order for you to make the right choices in life. If it gets confusing, take a break, relax and reflect on the process. 

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ASK YOURSELF CLARIFYING QUESTIONS. You must ask yourself clear questions on what you want to achieve or what is the exact outcome you’re hoping for to be able to make the best decision. What are my goals? What do I want to happen in my life? What would make me happy? Does it align with my core values? What are the consequences? Am I ready for such a decision?

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TAKE YOUR TIME, THERE’S NO RUSH. Don’t be afraid to take your time, don’t let others pressure you to commit hastily. Remember, it’s your life and therefore it’s your choice. You’re the one who will live with the outcomes of your decision so take your sweet time! 

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TRUST YOUR GUT FEELINGS. There’s no harm in relying on your intuition after you’ve carefully assessed all the pros and cons of the choices you have to make. Consider your gut feelings as part of the missing pieces of the puzzle! 

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Remember, we are the sum of the choices we make in life so make it the best possible choice for you and your future! We are in charge of our own lives, our own fates and destinies so always choose the best options. In life, we need to be selfish about the decisions we make and do what’s best and right for us.