Nobody Wants This…IRL (In Real Life)

Just like everyone else who’s binged on Netflix series, “Nobody Wants This” — a romcom about a newly single rabbi and an agnostic sex podcaster falling in love while they figure it out if their relationship will survive their meddling families and insanely different lives — got me and my significant other (who happens to be an Israeli Jew) hooked and amazed at the off the charts chemistry between its stars, Kristin Bell and Adam Brody. It had such a fantastic and successful debut, that it has been renewed for season two! It has a 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with a rough estimate of 15.9 million views, making it a Netflix breakout hit! 

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It’s not hard to love this 10-episode will-they-won’t-they arc story with beautifully written witty exchanges between characters, excellent standout comic performances by the supporting cast, and exceptionally timed one-liners. The main thing that truly endeared us to this rom-com was the genuine obstacles the couple faced due to their differing religious and cultural backgrounds — something my Israeli Jew husband and I (a Filipina-Canadian Catholic single mom) could totally relate to. We are so grateful to one of my chosen sisters from Sisterhood Tribe for highly recommending this series to us! From its first episode to the last episode, my husband and I couldn’t help but reminisce about our own experiences as a couple from different cultures and traditions. 

For its pilot episode when Joanne (Kristin Bell) fresh from a long string of unsuccessful dates, sashays into a party and meets Noah (Adam Brody) who just broke up with his ex-girlfriend. Nevertheless, sparks flew between the two. My husband and I remembered our first meeting which was arranged as a blind date by our close mutual friend. Just like Noah, my husband was freshly separated from his wife. As for me, I was coming from a long list of hilariously bad dates. I was feeling so discouraged by my bad experiences with dating that I nearly cancelled my blind date with my future husband. Our first impression of each other was most favourable: I was attracted to his warm smile and adorable baby blue eyes. On the other hand, he was attracted to my dark eyes, long thick hair and legs! 

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Sparks must’ve flown between us because what was originally meant for a short afternoon tea date at the Westin Bayshore quickly turned into happy hour at Cardero’s. We enjoyed each other’s company so much, our happy hour turned into a 4-hour dinner at another restaurant next door, Lift Bar and Grille Restaurant. We immediately discovered on our first date that we had a lot of things to talk about; we found each other conversationally stimulating; we both share a quirky sense of humour, and we both move in the same circle in Vancouver. On our second date, we both agreed to get rid of our dating profiles online!

Just like Noah and Joanne, ours was a slow start as well. The chemistry was undeniably strong between us but we wanted to take our time to get to know each other well. We both came from two previous divorces so it’s natural that we’re both wary and cautious of embarking on a serious relationship. My other half courted me for four months before we became an official couple and believe it or not, we didn’t have sex until the sixth month of dating! I wasn’t necessarily playing hard to get; I just decided that this time should be different and I followed one of the old and tested secrets from the book, The Rules to help me capture the heart of Mr. Right (I guess, it does work because we eventually got married and we’re still together going on 7 years next year). From the start, my other half proved to be transparent and genuine. He’s your typical Jewish gentleman: generous, sociable,  masculine, responsible, and he places huge importance on faith, culture, and traditions. He’s big on family — on our third date — he took me to celebrate Hanukkah with his family in Vancouver. 

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Celebrating my first Hanukkah with my new Jewish man and his family was certainly out of a comic show. As we all know, Hanukkah is the Jewish eight-day wintertime festival of lights celebrated by the lighting of the menorah, special prayers and partaking in delicious fried foods such as the famous latkes (potato fritters), the matzah ball soup (little carbohydrate balls drenched in chicken soup), hearty briskets, hummus, pita bread, freshly baked challah (quintessential Jewish braided bread), and my favourite: the sufganiyot (round jelly donuts). When his family started to pray, I made an embarrassing faux pas — I did the sign of the cross! My Jewish date gently nudged me and discreetly told me, “we don’t do the sign of the cross here!” I could hear muffled laughter from the younger generation of his family. 

You think my sign of the cross was bad? At the end of their prayer, I said “Amen.” D-uh. Thank goodness it wasn’t loud enough but still the relative who sat next to me had her eyebrows raised by a notch or two! Apart from my two little disasters, it was a wonderful and warm experience for me. I enjoyed meeting his whole family on what was supposed to be our third date! His family are so welcoming, so hospitable, and so much fun to be with! What can I say, my Jewish man moves fast. But I think it’s because, Jewish men are traditionally family men. They put family first and are family oriented in general. A trait I found so desirable especially from someone who comes from a country known for its devout tightly knit family relationships. 

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My first Hanukkah festivity will neither be the first nor the last. Throughout our first year, I celebrated the Purim (a day celebrating the saving of the Jews from a diabolical plot of destruction, as recounted in the Book of Esther), the Passover (a festival of freedom that marks the Hebrew exodus from Egypt long ago), the Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year—a holiday observed with festive meals and a day spent in prayer or quiet meditation), and the Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement—the most solemn day of the Jewish year. A day devoted to self–examination, and the chance to begin the New Year with a clean slate) amongst other Jewish holidays. From my part, I introduced my significant other to our own traditions such as Holy Week, Christmas, and New Year. During Christmas and Hanukkah, my significant other and I have learned to compromise through the years: I get to put my Christmas tree and he gets to light his menorah! 

I also introduced him to the delicious Filipino cuisine. Surprisingly, he loves our barbecue pork (Jews aren’t supposed to eat pork), pancit (noodles), lumpia (spring rolls), and Jollibee fried chicken! On celebrating his milestone birthday during our first year as a couple, I made a huge mistake by ordering crispy pork belly and crispy pork leg. Good thing that he noticed I was bringing the pork dishes and reminded me that’s a no-no, so I had to change the menu at the last minute and ordered beef dishes instead! I think my MIL (mother-in-law) found our cuisine a little too exotic for her taste! She only ate the birthday cake! 

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We started living together on the anniversary of our first year together. In our fourth year, my Jewish partner proposed to me and we got married two months after getting engaged. For our small intimate wedding, we decided to incorporate both our traditions in our ceremony. We were married by a non-religious female officiant. I did the Jewish tradition of circling my groom seven times at the start of our ceremony.  And the rest, we incorporated the traditional exchanges of vows and rings. 

As I’ve mentioned, we’ve been together for nearly seven years and every day we discover that we’re more alike in more ways than one! We might come from different backgrounds (both religious and cultural) but we both share the same love and passion for food, watching movies, reading, walking, spending quality time with our respective families and friends. Our differences do not divide us; on the contrary, by accepting and respecting our differences — our relationship continues to grow from strength to strength through the years. I have not converted (yet) to Judaism, but in my heart and soul, I am Jewish. According to my husband, from the way and manner that I raised my only adult son and how I fuss over him, I’m definitely a Jewish mom! Btw, I’m also learning a little bit of Hebrew too — Sababa!